Page 21 of POX

‘So how is that going to work?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, what if you find out this guy likes you too and wants to have sex? I assume it is a guy.’

I nodded. ‘It’s a guy. And I suppose the sex part would be an obstacle. But he doesn’t like me, so it’s a moot point.’

Thomas grunted. ‘Dunno why he wouldn’t want to go there. You’ve got me naked and raring to go. Maybe you should tell him how you feel. You never know.’

I was pleased Thomas had found me attractive enough to shed his clothes. But telling Jeremy? I shuddered under the duvet. ‘There’s no way I’m ever going to do that.’

‘Who’s the lucky fellow then? Someone at work?’

I pursed my lips, blushed hotly, and didn’t reply.

Thomas grunted. ‘Yeah, I thought so. Jeremy Trelawny. You were gushing about him in the pub.’

I cringed. Dammit. I really had to stop doing that dreamy voice thing!

‘So you’re lusting after him, and he’s oblivious.’

I closed my eyes, feeling the usual wave of despair wash over me. ‘Pretty much. When I don’t see him, I’m in anguish. But then he rings and wants a meeting, so I’m in seventh heaven. The build-up is nerve-wracking: Seeing him is like a dream. Then it’s over, and I want to fling myself off the faculty roof because I have to wait for him to ring and set up the next meeting. It’s a hellish emotional roller coaster.’

‘Sounds like a Shakespearean tragedy to me. But I can see why you wouldn’t want to say anything.’

‘Definitely.’ I nodded, glad that Thomas understood where I was coming from.

‘Yeah. Because if he found out how you felt and there was a chance he felt the same way, then you’d have the sex phobia issue.’

Oh. OK, he didn’t quite understand where I was coming from. However, his different take on the situation got me thinking. There had been no doubt in my mind that my love for Jeremy was unrequited. But what if I was wrong? What if Jeremy was into me and as afraid as I was to show how he felt because we worked together? I hadn’t considered that. He did insist on making me espresso and buying me salad. Had I been missing the signals he was sending? Hope rose in me like a miraculously blooming dead flower.

‘If he did feel the same way, I’m sure I’d be able to deal with ... getting intimate. We’d take it slow,’ I told Thomas confidently. However, Jeremy was very sexually experienced. What if he found me woefully inadequate in bed and was put off from the get-go?

As if reading my mind, Thomas gave a doubtful ‘hmmm’ like he wasn’t at all sure I would be able to deal with it.

‘Well, if you need help—with the sex part, not the love part—I’m willing to offer my services,’ he said.

‘What?’

‘Just saying, I’m pretty good at sex. So I could help you get back on the horse.’

I laughed in disbelief, though my madge did give quite a traitorous twang at the thought of having sex with Thomas. As Shakespeare wrote, ‘Frailty, thy name is woman.’ But then again, I was in bed with a naked good-looking guy!

‘I’m sure I’ll be fine,’ I said primly. ‘But thanks anyway.’

‘No problem.’

Thomas shifted onto his back and laced his hands behind his head. We lay there in companionable silence, staring at the ceiling, his lava lamp casting a reddish-purple glow while its globs of colour morphed.

‘So why do you think you’re so good at sex anyway?’ I asked eventually out of curiosity. ‘Is that because someone told you, or you have a high opinion of yourself?’

‘You can usually tell if someone is having a good time.’

‘But what if they’re faking it?’

‘Nah, I’ve got the moves.’

‘Like what?’

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