Page 96 of Full Circle

Poor Iris’ swung her head back and forth like she was watching a tennis match. “What’s wrong, Mama? Do you know him?”

Imitating Flynn Rider from Tangled wasn’t on my list of things to do today, but incoherent noises were all that came out. I was about to freak out, and everything else was background noise.

“Please don’t do this in front of her!” Celeste held up her hands in a placating gesture. Like a caricature of myself, the sound muted in the back of my throat while my face remained frozen in a now silent scream. Celeste gave a very confused Iris a hug and promised to explain everything after school before sending her out the door.

It was then that I realized the handful of diners were all staring at us as though we were a circus sideshow. I didn’t argue when she grabbed me by the arm and yanked me back towards the office.

“Wes, I can explain,” she said again. Her back pressed against the door with one hand on the knob as though she was preparing for a quick getaway.

I nodded too vigorously for what the moment called for. It seemed I was no longer in control of my limbs. “Uh huh. Yep. You said that.” Only it came out in a high falsetto that pierced my eardrums.

Pacing sounded like a clever idea, so I began to briskly walk the length of the room. A total of six steps in either direction. Celeste remained silent, watching me apprehensively. She chewed on her bottom lip warily in a way that I would have found cute in any other situation.

“So you have a daughter,” I finally stated.

She was going to split her lip in half if she chewed any harder. “Um…we have a daughter.”

There are moments in your life, as clear cut as a diamond, that permanently alter your state of being. In the blink of an eye, everything you ever stood for, worked for, and wanted shifts, and there’s no going back. This was one of those moments.

“We have a child?” I asked. “An actual, living, breathing child?”

Celeste’s shoulders sank. “Yes,” she replied. She still regarded me carefully, taking one small step forward while maintaining a hand on the door.

Roaring filled my ears and I found my fist punching a hole into the drywall. It was only after I noticed the blood on my knuckles that I realized the roaring came from me. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”

She winced like I had physically slapped her. “Please don’t be like this,” whimpered Celeste.

“Don’t be like what, Celeste? Furious that I’ve been a father for a decade and I’m only finding out now on accident?!” I screamed. “Livid that you kept such a giant secret from me?”

The whole thing sounded like some sort of cosmic joke. While the night of losing my virginity had been spank bank fodder all these years, I had never once considered the repercussions of our foolish decision to have unprotected sex at sixteen. It completely slipped my mind in comparison to the larger problems thrown at me during that time in my life. And while I had been ruminating for the past 48 hours on Celeste’s strange behavior, it hadn’t occurred to me that another life would be so influenced by our decisions.

It was a heady realization of new responsibility to drop on your lap before nine in the morning!

“Does she know who I am?” I settled on asking. There were so many questions buzzing around in my head that I didn’t even know where to begin.

Celeste wilted, staring at the ground while she shook her head. For some reason this revelation was a kick in the gut. Not only had I never had a chance to know of my daughter, she never had the chance to know of me. Although, even in the few minutes I spent with her, I could already tell Iris wouldn’t have let go of her interest to meet me.

Too many emotions were at war within me, all trying to bubble to the surface. I wanted to know everything. I wanted to build a time machine so that I could go back and do every single thing differently. I wanted to have Celeste suddenly laugh that her prank had worked; now that we were somewhat even with our betrayals, we could move forward.

But as I watched the tears continue to stream down her cheeks, I accepted the fact that none of those things were true.

“She—you—” I sputtered, trying desperately to gain some sort of ground on all the feelings swirling around. “She has brass balls bigger than Texas!”

Celeste’s lips pressed together in a firm line as she fought back a laugh. “And where do you think she gets that from, Wes?”

Oh my god—it was my worst nightmare. We created a female version of me!

“I need to go…I think. Yeah…” My voice trailed off in confusion. I swept past her and went to the back door to exit. I didn’t want to be seen by anybody, even if there were only a few patrons at The Comfy Cushion in that moment.

“Wesley, hold on! We need to talk about this!” Celeste cried desperately. She followed me out to the doorway and stood there helplessly.

I only got three steps away before I rounded back in front of her. “Celeste, I’ve dreamed of you carrying my child since I was old enough to fantasize about sex. And knowing that I missed out on that dream is something you’re just gonna have to give me some time to process.”

A sob broke free from her throat, and for the first time ever, the fact that I was the cause didn’t bother me. She had taken something so precious from me that I could never get back.

Time.

CHAPTER 46

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