Page 17 of Malicious Desires

“Me, Nanc. I care.”

“You shouldn't,” my best friend responds, adding with a smile, “Love who you love.”

I scoff, taking a final bite of my sandwich and a sip of coffee that I forgot was even on the table in front of me. It’s tepid so it doesn’t taste very appetising, but I take a few more sips before responding to Nancy with a snip in my voice, “I don't love Reece. I hate him.”

Nancy laughs. “Hate is also a sin, Jasp. Some say it is one of the deadly sins.”

Panic rises in my chest and I gulp hard. “So you're saying I'm going to hell regardless?”

“No, Jasper. But you can't live life in this world chained to the past teachings. Things are not as they were when the church ruled.” Again she’s showing she’s wise beyond her years.

“I know, Nanc. But I can't just let go of all I've been taught, of all I know,” I tell her, finishing my coffee. I’m ready to leave, to check out from this conversation but Nancy's glare pins me to the spot still.

“That is but true Jasp. But you need to trust your heart. It won't steer you wrong.”

“My heart is not of a concern when it comes to Reece,” I sneer and again Nancy laughs as though she’s mocking me.

“Don't be so sure. Our bodies are governed by our hearts.”

“Need you talk in riddles, Nanc,” I chastise her, annoyed. Nancy is wise and knowledgeable in regard to history, but sometimes her words confuse me.

“Just think about it Jasper,” she instructs, reaching out to touch my hand on the table. “And listen to your heart. Let it guide your hand in painting your heart's desire.”

I don’t respond but stand from the table now we’ve finished lunch. I smile at my best friend, and air kiss her cheeks before going to art class.

Sitting in front of my canvas, holding up the brush against the taut fabric I’m breathing heavily in concentration. Our instructions for the class were to paint with our minds' eye. To not think too hard about what we’re painting and just let the brush do the talking.

To achieve this I close my eyes, moving my brush in slow strokes over the canvas. Whilst painting I softly hum a tune, and I don’t even open my eyes as I dip my brush into the paints beside me. It’s odd just letting go, and painting without seeing what’s on the canvas, or even what colours I’m using. It’s freeing. And it’s causing my heart to beat erratically in an exhilarating way like it does when I’m with Reece.

The class goes by quickly, and when the professor announces paint brushes down I flutter my eyes open and stare at my work. I’ve painted a face. And studying it I realise it looks exactly like Reece. I need to stop thinking about him and stop letting him into my dorm room to taunt me, to tempt me to sin.

Chapter 11

Reece

My best friend is sitting beside me in the Bugatti, out for a cruise to clear my mind. He’s fiddling with the sunroof button, cursing under his breath.

“How’s this fucking thing work?”

“It doesn’t, dufus. Leave it the fuck alone.”

“Someone’s undies are in a knot.”

I huff. “I touched Jasper,” I confess, giving my best friend side eye to see his reaction. He smirks.

“Did you now?”

“Yeah, and I fucking came so hard.”

“Just from a touch?”

I shake my head. And Malyk gives me an upturned smile, questioning me.

“Yeah, fucked I know. His kiss was what made me come though, but his hands on me and his kiss, fuck Mal. I can't tell you how good it felt.”

Malyk gives me his hyena laugh,the insane cackling that drives me insane. He taunts, “He's got your bleeding fucked up heart involved.”

I turn my gaze to him, glaring at him as I respond, “Fuck no. I don't have a heart.”

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