Page 24 of Scores Of The Heart

“Look, I fucked up, I get it.”

I stare at him, shocked. I’ve never heard him use that kind of language.

“Damon!” I chastise.

“What? I’m already going to hell, aren’t I?”

I sigh and look down at the ground. “That isn’t for me to decide.”

“I really didn’t mean for it to be like this. Temptation got the better of me, like your mom said, the devil and all of that.”

“You’re listening to my mom now?”

He sighs again.

I snap my head up and stare at him. “Why her, Damon? Why didn’t you just ask me?”

“Because I want you to be my wife, Cindy. I still do, if you could only see.”

“See what?” I throw my arms up in the air, exasperated. “See that you get to experiment behind my back while I stay a virgin until our wedding night?”

“Would you have had sex with me if I’d asked?”

“We’ll never know that now, will we?” I mutter.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I wasn’t thinking. I got so tempted, Cindy. The whole time I wanted it to be you, I really did.”

I think back to Jessica’s voluptuous body, her large breasts and full mouth.

Everything I’m not.

I’m not attractive enough, that’s what it is. He’s just not saying it.

“You should have talked to me,” I say, wiping away silent tears I refuse to let drop in front of him. “We could have worked this out. Instead, I get to see your ass in the breeze pumping Jessica Plath — by the way,” I pause, “was that the first time?”

I hadn’t even considered that until now.

“Yeah, it was,” he says, looking me directly in the eyes. For once, he seems to be telling the truth. “It was a spur of the moment. We’d both had a few swigs of bourbon on the sly while we got some snack prepping done for Pastor Dan’s party.”

“Yeah, you prepped more than the snacks,” I mumble. “And don’t blame alcohol. You looked fully sober to me.”

He sighs, folding his arms across his chest.

“There’s nothing more to say anyway,” I tell him. “Please, just leave me alone.”

“I won’t give up on us,” he says.

I hold my head in my hands, feeling like it might explode. “Then why do it!” I yelp, pulling at my hair. “So, you don’t even care about Jessica now, after having sex with her? What’s she supposed to do?” Not that I care about that, but where’s she in all of this? She and I need to have a serious chat.

“I do care. But she’s not my girlfriend. I told you, we had a sneaky swipe of bourbon, and she had a low cut top on. We bumped into each other, and one thing led to another. I just wanted a little taste test, Cindy. I couldn’t stop myself. I thought it would be okay if it were with someone else. I didn’t want to taint you like that.”

“Ha, taint me! But it was apparently okay to do that to Jessica?”

Yeah, he got more than a taste. If getting an eyeful while he thrusted in and out of her was anything to go by.

The whole scene still makes me queasy.

“I’m not your girlfriend anymore. You have to understand, it’s over.”

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