Page 90 of Scores Of The Heart

FUCK.

“So, you’re nine months?”

“Yes. It came as a shock to me as well, Ty.”

I wish she’d stop calling me that.

“So much so you’ve waited all this time to tell me?”

“I know I should have. I just… the way we ended… I just didn’t know how to…”

“That’s bullshit. You’ve had six months to tell me!”

“Please don’t be angry. I wasn’t planning on keeping the baby once it’s born.”

“What?” I realize I’m almost bellowing in the stairwell and have to pull my shock and my anger at her in. Getting upset with her isn’t going to get me the information I need.

“I mean, I want to adopt her out…”

“Her, it’s a girl?” I think I’m actually going to faint in a moment.

“Yes, Ty. You’re going to be a father. But you’re under no obligation. I’ve thought long and hard and I’m kinda thinking adopting her out would be the best course of…”

“Adopt her out? You don’t even want her?”

“I don’t know, I’m confused, Ty. I wish you could see…”

I sigh as she trails off and the line goes quiet. If I wasn’t shocked enough by her pregnancy message, I’m shocked over the fact it’s a girl, and Stacey may not want to even keep her.

How the fuck can a person’s life change to drastically within a five-minute conversation?

“We need to talk about this,” I say. “I can’t consent to any of what you’re suggesting, Stacey. This is the first I’m hearing about it so I need to get my head around it. I’m back in Seattle in a couple of days. So we’ll meet up and talk about it, okay?”

“Okay,” she says, quietly. She sounds so different, almost unrecognizable.

Obviously, we’ll need a paternity test no matter what she says. I think it’s only fair.

“Are you okay?” I ask. Though at this point, I don’t even know if she deserves me asking that. She’s had six months to approach me! I’m so angry about that part, I can hardly contain myself. It’s not as though we were on such bad terms she couldn’t talk to me. Maybe she thought she was better off going through it on her own, but why?

I wouldn’t have turned my back on her. I might not want to be with her anymore, but I would always do the right thing and support her in any and all ways I could.

I want a part of this kid’s life.

I don’t know which part I can’t get over the most. Her keeping it from me for so long, or the fact she’s saying she may adopt her.

It’s hard to know what to think.

“I’ve been better,” she sighs. “It’s all such a mess, Tyler. I never meant for this to happen.”

“Just wait a couple more days, okay? I’ll call you when I’m back.”

“Okay, goodnight,” she says. And I have to admit, she sounds a world away from what I’m used to. There’s clearly a lot going on in her head as well.

With a shaky breath, I say, “Goodnight.” And we hang up.

I slide my back down the wall in the stairwell to the ground and sit. I don’t even know how far down I walked. I kind of lost count of the floors. My hands hold my head as my cell drops to the floor beside me.

I can’t fucking believe this.

---