Page 30 of Mine to Tease

“Why did they come here and what’s in the box?” she asks, standing upright.

I shake my head. “We don’t have time for this right now.”

“I know they work for my brother, Damon. And, after looking at that folder, I gather you do too. But then why would they break in? Why would you kill them? Unless you and my brother are no longer on good terms and I’m no longer safe with you. So before I go anywhere with you or listen to a single word you have to say, tell me, Damon, why did they come here and what’s in the box?” Anastasia spits fire as she raises her voice. She’s right. Not only have I broken her trust, but I just killed two of her brother’s men. Why should she feel safe with me if I’m at odds with the man who hired me to protect her?

I glance at my watch then. “We have about two minutes before this place is crawling with men who are going to make those bodies disappear along with any evidence that they were ever here.”

“Damon, I’m not?—”

“So I’m going to keep this quick and answer any remaining questions you may have elsewhere.” I raise my brows as if to ask her if she accepts my terms. She nods. “Inside that box is a severed head of a man your brother thought was feeding me information on his organization. He wasn’t. I have no interest in your brother’s organization other than what is required to keep you safe. The man in the box—Angelo, who you may remember—told me one thing that I made the mistake of confronting your brother about because, as your hired protector, I thought it was something I needed to know. Aidan then took it upon himself to torture and kill him, and those men came here tonight to deliver the remains to send me a message. I’m sure they weren’t expecting anyone to be here, but we were and that tempted them into more conflict than your brother probably intended. And when they saw Brinkley, I knew I had no choice but to kill them in order to keep your secret safe. Your brother and I aren’t at war. You are safe with me, Ana, and you always will be. And not because your brother hired me to keep you safe, but because I love you.”

“Don’t say that,” she says.

“It’s the truth.” I take a step toward her and reach for her hands. She tries to pull them from me, but I won’t let her. Without another word, I pull her toward the back of the building and Brinkley follows. “I lied to you. I hurt you. I betrayed you. And I’m sorry. And I promise you, I will do a better job at apologizing and explaining once we get home. But don’t for a single second question my love for you or my loyalty to you. Those are two things you will always have, whether you want them or not, and no matter what happens between me and your brother.”

As we reach the back door of the parlor, I scoop up Brinkley with one hand while holding on to Ana with the other. Shoving the door open with my foot, the three of us leave with thirty seconds to spare.

32

I don’t let go of Ana’s hand the entire way back to her house. In part, because I’m afraid she’ll run away, but also because I’m afraid that once I let her go, I’ll never feel her touch again. I can’t imagine her pain right now. For her to think for a single second that she isn’t safe with me makes me realize things are worse than I ever could’ve imagined. I suppose it doesn’t help that we had sex before I told her the truth. If she’s questioning her safety with me and my love for her, then she’s questioning everything, including that. And to question someone’s motives for sex is a kind of pain that hurts in a different way. I don’t know how I’ll ever convince her to trust me again, but I won’t stop trying until I do.

As we reach her door, she realizes she left her purse at the parlor. I know this also won’t help me gain back her trust, but I have no choice but to pull my spare key out of my pocket. She pins me with a look of both shock and disgust as I unlock the door for her. Shaking her head, she enters the cottage. Brinkley and I follow behind her. Aidan may have a war headed his way, but the look on Anastasia’s face lets me know mine starts now.

Inside her cottage, Ana paces her kitchen in silence. I put Brinkley down, take a deep breath, and try to massage some of the tension from my neck. It’s then that Ana moves with purpose and heads to the fridge. She pulls out a bottle of wine, pours herself a glass, and grabs a chocolate iced honey bun from one of the cabinets. It’s been a long night and crying does make one hungry. So does sex.

Ana takes a deep breath and downs half her glass in a matter of seconds. “I feel numb,” she says. I nod and move to stand on the other side of the island so that we are face-to-face, yet there’s some distance for her comfort.

“What else do you feel?” I ask.

Anastasia looks at me then. I can tell she’s tired, though I doubt either one of us will get much sleep tonight. Her hair is disheveled. Mascara streaks down her cheeks. Her lips are dry and chapped. Most of her makeup has worn off. “I feel…I feel like everything has been a lie. I feel like you don’t love me. You never did.”

“Anastasia—”

“Let me finish!” she yells, slamming her wineglass down on the island. It shatters into pieces. The red wine mixes with blood oozing from the cut on her hand and covers the white countertop. I move to help her tend to the wound, but she raises her hand to stop me. “Let me finish,” she says once more. I nod and back away. She takes another deep breath and a swig of wine directly from the bottle.

“I feel like I was just starting to get to know you, the real you. And I was so, so happy.” The pain in her voice breaks me. “And now…now I feel like I don’t know you at all. I feel like the only reason you ever showed any interest in me, the only reason you fucked me, is because you wanted to get back at my brother for forcing you to be my protector. And I know I don’t know anything about the deal the two of you had, but based on how you treated me in the beginning and the folder on your desk, it seems obvious. Tell me, am I wrong?”

I stand tall and look her in the eyes, giving her the respect she deserves. “You’re not wrong about your brother forcing me to look after you. He and my superior came to an agreement without me knowing and I had no choice but to comply. It was part of my boss’s efforts to help sustain the alliance between my people and yours, a show of good faith.”

“The mob and the Mafia,” she says. I nod.

“And since your brother knew you wanted nothing to do with the mob, he couldn’t very well employ one of his own men to protect you. So he got the next best thing—a man professionally trained in protecting princesses and someone happy to operate in secret because I want just as little to do with the mob as you do.”

Anastasia is quiet as she processes this, so I take my opportunity to continue. “Before this assignment, before Alister Amato left New Orleans and took the Mafia down with him, I was the lead protector for Sophia, his sister. I am Mafiosi, through and through. More than that, I’m an Amato. My mother was the sister of Domenico, Alister’s father. When she died, my cousins, Alister and Sophia, and my Mafia brothers were the only family I had left, the only place where I felt like I belonged. In the month before you arrived, I lost everything—my family, my job, my way of life, even my pride. So no, I’m not the biggest fan of your brother, because, well, several reasons, but mostly because he reminds me of everything I’ve lost. And yes, I was an asshole to you because so were you. But, Anastasia, everything is different now. Now, when I look at you, all I see is everything I have to live for, everything I have to fight for. I see the woman that I want to be my family, because the time I’ve spent with you over these past few months is the closest thing I’ve felt to family, to love, in a very long time. And, in many ways, what I feel when I’m with you, what I feel for you, is the first I’ve ever felt in my life.”

“But, Damon, how can I believe that? How can I trust that this is real?” she asks me then. I hear the desperation in her voice, a desperation that tells me she wants to believe me, believe in us, even if she isn’t ready to. “I came here under the impression that I’d have my freedom, freedom to make my own choices, run my own business, live a life out from underneath my brother’s thumb. But he’s been pulling the strings the entire time and you’ve been helping him. I never made a single choice for myself, Damon, except choosing to trust you, love you. And now, now that I know the truth, not only do I not know if I can trust you but I guess my days of making any decisions for myself are over, aren’t they?”

“They don’t have to be. I’ve been keeping you safe at a distance, yes. But I follow your lead. It’s not the other way around.”

“So you mean to tell me that you won’t start trying to control my movements? I won’t have to preapprove my outings?” She speaks with a sarcastic tone as if she doesn’t believe me.

“Of course not. I mean, if you’re planning to go somewhere dangerous or be out late at night, then I’ll probably discourage it or insist on accompanying you. But I would never forcefully stop you from living your life, Anastasia, a life I hope to be a part of in more ways than one. And that was true even when it meant watching you go on a date and potentially falling in love with another man.”

She nods. “I guess you did let me do that, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” Anastasia looks at me. Her cheeks are red as anger and confusion still pulse inside her. But the fact that she’s willing to have a conversation with me is a good sign.

“But…but what about my brother? Don’t you report to him? Don’t you tell him everything I do? I mean, that defeats the purpose of my entire move, Damon. And how can we have a relationship if that relationship includes a third party?”

---