Page 94 of Goodbye Note

“They’re all celebrities.”

“Are there any normal guys you’ve been attracted to?” He traced his fingers over my hip, and I felt like I could breathe again.

I didn’t want to have this talk, but I didn’t want him to leave, and I desperately needed him to keep touching me. “I don’t know. I’ve never seriously thought about it until you.” I dropped my gaze to where his fingers connected with my skin. The warmth they infused sent shooting stars through my chest cavity again.

“Do you think you are demi or, like, gray when it comes to guys?”

“What’s that?”

“It’s something like you only feel attraction when you know them. Like being attracted to their personalities.” Varian’s voice got softer.

“Is that something you can only be with one gender and not the other?”

“I don’t think there are any rules.” He traced the line of my sleeve, then ran his fingertips down the inside of my bicep.

I’d never felt more grounded in a moment. The rest of the world melted again.

“Maybe that’s it.”

He was quiet for a long time, and I figured maybe he was done talking for the night, but then he spoke. “So you’ve never done anything with a guy?”

“Just kiss you,” I admitted.

“So if you’re just not into dicks…” He trailed off, and I hung on his words. “Would you be into me touching—more of you?”

“Maybe… Yes…”

Shock widened his eyes before a smile took over. He leaned closer, and his breath smelled like cherry, vanilla, and weed. His fingers skimmed under my ear, slipping around the back of my neck. “I’m going to kiss you again.”

I closed the distance between us before he could, brushing our lips together. I stayed there for a moment, seeing if he’d object. When he didn’t say anything, I kissed him again, this time fuller. Parting his lips. His tongue skimmed barely between, giving me a little taste of him. A moan escaped me. He grabbed my face with his other hand, dragging me closer.

I grabbed his shoulder, his arm, his hips, anywhere I could to hold on for dear life, suddenly so unsteady.

He nibbled my lip and then sucked on it. His scruff chaffed my lips, and before I could get enough, he stopped.

It was so abrupt, it left me clinging and breathing hard.

Thankfully, he didn’t try to extract himself from my grip. He stayed there with his forehead an inch from mine.

“Why’d you stop?”

“I thought this was just an experiment,” Varian said playfully.

I groaned, grinding my teeth. “Still, why would you stop?”

He brushed his nose over mine. “So you liked that?”

“I think you can fucking tell.” I chased the contact, bringing us cheek to cheek to rub them together.

“I can.”

I nipped at his ear. “Why do you feel so good?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” He pulled my hair.

“Kiss me again,” I pleaded.

He obliged, but slower, and I soon realized why when his knuckles brushed my cock. I gasped, straining inside my sweats. Blind need burned white-hot through my body.

---