Page 50 of Goodbye Note

“Fuck off. You have a whole wardrobe bunk? Who even approved this?”

“My label and manager endorsed it and helped me find designers who wanted to dress me. So I have some cool stuff to wear onstage." I could tell he was annoyed, but I was sure it was a hint of jealousy.

“Are you Elton fucking John now? Hell’s horses.” Varian scoffed and held the joint out of reach when I tried to take it.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” I asked, not even mad about the joint.

“Hell’s horses. I’m trying out new ways to swear. Spice up my vernacular.”

“No.” I held up a hand. “Just no.”

“What?” He fought a smirk.

“You know what. I am vetoing that one. Just use ‘fuck’ like a normal person.” I closed the curtains, shoving him back toward the front lounge. “Who all do you have on your bus?” I asked again.

“The four of us, our manager, photog, merch.” He counted the people off on his fingers as he spoke. “We added a guitar tech this tour, too. The label wanted us to get used to them for the headliner they are planning.”

It took a few seconds for what he said to click. “No shit? You got green-lighted?”

He grinned and nodded. “We just got told this morning.”

I grabbed him in a hug and picked him up. “Fuck, I’m so proud of you. When do you leave?”

He grunted. “Right after this. We have like a week to recover.”

“Shit, that’s sick.” I set him back on his feet. “So you’re crowded as fuck.”

“I’m going to have to snag a bunk over here when my bus is too loud.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” My chest tightened, liking the idea more than I should.

He cocked his head, lips parted like he was going to say something, when Kiernan busted in.

“Where’s the band?”

“I think they’re with Dopamine-Fiend. Why?” I turned away from Varian, unable to process our conversation.

“We got to get to sound check. It’s all backed up. There’s a ton of bands late because of the rain, and they want to get through those of us who are here before doors open.”

“Cool. That means they’ll be looking for you too.” I snatched the joint from Varian’s hand.

His eyes locked on mine, swirling with intensity.

What had he been about to say?

I had to know.

FIFTEEN

VARIAN

I watched Second Star’s set from the wings.

Arik spun around, jamming on his guitar like he was on top of the world. If I could bottle his energy and happiness and keep it forever, I would.

He was starlight in its purest form.

I basked in it.

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