Page 33 of Goodbye Note

Fuck. I was such a fucking idiot. He didn’t know me or my humor. I couldn’t just bust into gay jokes without scaring him off. I’d come this close to being friends with him, and I’d blown it. I raised my arm to throw my phone across the room when it buzzed in my hand.

Varian: I was going to suggest a midnight nightcap as we pass through, but if you’d rather only have a picture.

My heart stopped.

Arik: Are you in town?

Varian: Picture or the real thing?

Varian: Decide now.

Arik: I thought you guys were off for the month. Why are you in Chicago?

Varian: Time’s ticking down.

Arik: Real thing.

I responded before he could decide for me. My blood heated in my veins, warming down to my fingertips.

Varian: Good answer.

Fuck.

He couldn’t be serious. Could he?

NINE

VARIAN

“I can’t breathe.”

“What?” Vallen asked, glancing over from the driver’s seat.

“I think he just asked me for a dick pick.”

Vallen coughed and swerved. “You can’t do that to me. I’m going to veer into oncoming traffic and kill us all. What do you mean?”

I read them the text conversation.

“Holy mother of God. He might not actually be straight,” Fox said, putting a hand over his open mouth before he wrangled his wallet out of his pocket. He pulled out a crisp hundred-dollar bill and passed it to Bronx.

I held up my middle finger. “Don’t you jinx me. He’s probably joking.” But denying it to them didn’t change the flutter in my heart.

“Do straight guys joke about that kind of shit, though?” Bronx took the bill and shoved it into his pocket.

“This is what I am saying. You gotta be at least a little.” Fox cocked his head to the side and shrugged. “To joke like that.”

Bronx held out a fist. Fox bumped it.

“I’m making all of you wait in the car,” I said, only half joking.

“Don’t worry, Daddy, we won’t embarrass you,” Fox put on his best baby voice.

I shuddered. “Don’t ever call me that again.”

“Bet if Arik said it, you’d change your tune!” Bronx burst out laughing, and my brother and Fox joined him.

“I hate all of you. I’m quitting the band.” I hit the video call button, putting my headphones in.

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