Page 25 of Goodbye Note

I tapped a finger on the desk. “No, I don’t want everyone to know it’s me right away. I want to have some fun with him.”

Val grabbed a bottle of something from Grandpa’s stash and held it out to me. “We’re making this a drinking game before we go out.”

“What are the rules?” I asked, taking the bottle.

Val thought for a second. “Every message you send, you take a drink. Every reply you get before he figures out it’s you, I take a drink.”

“So my goal is to…not let him figure out it’s me?”

“Yes, but you can’t be so vague. You have to be yourself. No lying.” Val got a crooked grin on him.

“Okay, so then what do I call myself?”

“Chemical Smuggler.”

“That sounds like a grape smuggler.” I typed it in, and the name was available. “It’s mine.”

“I have something to tell you.”

I cocked my head, twisting to read his expression. “What?”

“Dad stopped by last week.”

I shoved to my feet. “Why are you just now telling me?”

“Gramps asked me not to?”

“Why are you asking me? Fucking explain.” I balled my hands into fists like I’d fight the ghost of his presence.

“He didn’t want this reaction. But I can’t keep lying about it. That’s why I thought he tried to get to you and you might be emailing him.”

“What did he say?” I flexed my jaw.

“He said he’s changed. Said he was sober and that he wanted to be part of our lives. Help us with shit. Our deals. He spouted a lot of crap before Gramps got him to leave.”Vallen steeled himself, but I knew it hurt him too. He was just better at hiding it.

I shook my head, pressing my eyes closed. “Who did he speak to?”

“Gramps while we were still on tour, and then he turned up again and caught me coming home.”

“He was here twice?!” Rage boiled through my veins.

“Yes.”

I can’t believe he didn’t tell me. I lifted my hollow gaze to meet my brother’s. “You better not…” I couldn’t even get the words out.

“No. I wouldn’t do that to you.” His gaze flickered to my scar, and I turned away from him.

I couldn’t handle the focus. “Fuck him. We starting off with a drink?” I didn’t wait for his answer, twisting off the top to take a swig. I was ready to be out of here. Ready to be back on tour and away from all the reminders of this place. He didn’t deserve access to us, and him showing up just gave my grandparents another reason to be disappointed with me.

I looked enough like him; I knew how they saw me. Choosing to create art would always be looked down upon by people who only valued education and money, but my father loved to stomp in and remind everyone why they hated musicians.

“It’s not like that.” Val grabbed the bottle, but when I tried to snatch it back, he held up a finger and poured some into his mouth. “They don’t want him coming around. They don’t think it’s your fault.”

My gaze bored into his cheek, but he wouldn’t look at me. “Why would they think it’s my fault?”

“I…misspoke. They wouldn’t blame you for him showing up. They know how he is.”

“Why would it even come up? They blame me?”

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