Page 222 of Goodbye Note

“Is it?” I asked. “You’ll have to show me more of this straight behavior. Just so I can see how I went so gay.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll give you lessons.” He tightened his grip on my face, desperate, and I loved every second of it.

“Funny how, after all this, I’m the out one while you’re not.”

“Right? What a turn that was. I never asked. Did they give you much pushback?” His hand slid around to the nape of my neck.

“They did, and I reminded them they’d had many, many years after I wanted to come out with you to get over it.”

“What even made you want to do it?” he asked.

“I was tired of my work being changed. My lyrics and my truth. I don’t want to hide anymore.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?” I asked.

“For giving me hope.”

“Huh?” He had me confused.

“The whole album, while it sucked to hear, gave me hope you’d speak to me again. Now, I never could have imagined this, but I would have taken any part of you.” He pressed his face into my shoulder, and I squeezed him tighter.

I’d blocked out just how much I’d missed his hands on me and the desperation in it. I still wasn’t used to it, and I never wanted to be. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“I’ve been ready for almost twenty years. I left my heart when I left that note, and I never thought I’d get it back.” He paused for a second and looked into my eyes. His dark ones were filled with mixed emotions. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“I’m already out. Not a big change for me. Gender doesn’t even matter. I am tired of wishing everyone was you.”

He was quiet for a while. “Do you think you’ll be worried forever that you’ll wake up to me gone?”

“No, I’m going to start handcuffing you to me when we go to bed, so if you ever want to leave, you will have to face me to do it.” I grinned.

He stared, mouth open. “You would, too.”

“Let’s go get you warmed up or you’ll be late. If you’re quick, I’ll let you cum on my face.”

We rarely get to see our second chance come through

We make plans and dreams

Wish on stars

But so often we don’t get to right those wrongs

Or know who we could really be given that chance

I’ve lost my dopamine supply

Can you help me out with that?

“I’m going to tell our PR to post it now,” Varian said when he got offstage.

“Now?”

“Yes, now. I don’t want to keep putting stuff off.”

I laughed. “So half the people here will be finding out you’re getting divorced while I’m onstage singing about you?”

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