Page 214 of Goodbye Note

Checkmate.

“We aren’t telling you—” Kiernan tried this time.

Arik cut him off, too. “You aren’t telling either of us shit. I’ve heard all this before. You two don’t get to fuck with our relationship again. I don’t want to hear it’s going to hurt album sales. I don’t want to hear that I’ll lose half of my fans. I’ve broken every record in the book, and then I went and broke my own records. I have more than enough money and don’t spend it. If the fans want to throw tantrums about who I love, I’ll retire.” He looked over at me. “You cool with all that?”

“I am.” I’d never found him sexier.

“See? Same page. I should have fucking done this the last time. I should have just come out and not listened to either one of you.” He squeezed my thigh to tell me he wasn’t mad at me.

“It’s not you we are worried about. What about Dopamine-Fiend?” John asked.

“What about them?” I asked, not sure what he was getting.

“You’re married, Varian, and just making a comeback.”

My stomach dropped. Lindsay would try to ruin my happiness. How were we in the exact same spot but in reverse? This had to be a cruel joke.

Arik cupped my cheek. “Look at me.” I let him turn my face. “Whatever we have to do. I’ll kill the bitch if I have to.”

John gasped. Kiernan just shook his head.

I nodded and breathed. “Nova can’t get hurt by this. I need to protect her. At least she knows we’re separated. We’ve taken her to therapy and all of it.”

“I wouldn’t want you to do anything less.” Arik rested his forehead against mine. “We have this together.”

“Get my lawyer on the phone and file my divorce papers,” I said, closing my eyes to just be with him.

“I will do that,” John said. “But we need to discuss how Arik’s journal looks and all the time you spend together. Because the second you file, you two are going to be under a spotlight, and there are already some parts of your fandom that you two just going on tour has inflamed. Especially with Arik recently coming out.”

My eyes snapped open, and I searched Arik’s face.

He exhaled, then turned on them. “You wanted those parts of the fandom worked up. It was part of your little plan when you decided to put us on tour together again. Don’t you fucking try to change the story now. I sat in those meetings while you said it would get the LGBTQIA+ crowd excited after I did what I did on the album. And now you want to retract all that?”

“We didn’t say retract. We just think it’s better if you two tone it down so Varian doesn’t get accused of cheating and leaving his wife for you.” John scooted to the edge of his seat, trying to be nice, but I hated both of them at that moment.

Why did I do everything wrong? Why hadn’t I just pulled the Band-Aid off with the divorce? I set my coffee aside and put my face in my hands.

Arik put his arm around me. “What does that look like to you?”

“You can’t be posting stuff like you’re in love or that you’re thinking about a shirt you borrowed eighteen years ago. All the ghost stuff, anything tied to the Varik shippers, really.”

“So nothing. I always post while I’m on tour.” Arik lightly drew patterns on my skin with his fingertips, trying to soothe me, I was sure.

“Maybe it’s time to give it up,” Kiernan said.

“No. It’s my connection to my fans.”

“The label isn’t giving you a choice. We are trying to be nice about it, but they have too much money invested in this tour and Dopamine-Fiend’s come back,” John said flatly.

“No.”

“You’re like the fucking guy who won’t quit updating his Tumblr two decades after it died.” Kiernan tried again.“You don’t need it.”

“Why do I have twenty million or more weekly readers?” Arik turned his phone around, showing them stats.

“You are entirely keeping that platform still alive!” Kiernan said through his teeth.

“This is what has kept us relevant. People want to know what I’m going through. It’s why my readership grows every single week. In the age of fake, people crave real.” Arik wasn’t going to back down over this. I knew him too well.

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