Page 209 of Goodbye Note

“We’ll let you know as we figure it out,” I said before Varian could speak. We had a lot of talking to do, and I didn’t want to rush it for anyone else before he and I had time to talk.

He put his hand over mine, and I linked my thumb on top of his. Varian set his plate aside and laid his head on my shoulder, cheeks damp.

We didn’t get long to bask in each other. We had to get dressed and go do vocal warmups. Varian lingered after the rest of the guys split to do their own rituals before performing.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Sleep with me tonight?”

“Are you sure we should jump into it that fast?” I asked, chest getting tight.

“I want to.”

“Okay.” I exhaled fear.

* * *

Dopamine-Fiend finished their set, and I waited in the wings, back far enough where I couldn’t be seen from the arena for him to walk offstage. A smile lit his entire face when he handed his guitar to the tech and spotted me.

Varian grabbed my shirt, pulling me into a kiss. “I’d hug you, but I don’t want you to get sweaty.”

“I’ve never minded you sweaty. We spent a lot of time in the heat.” I flicked my tongue over his lips.

“Whose hotel? Mine or yours?”he asked.

“Yours. It will probably be less crazy if either gets leaked.”

Varian nodded.

“Go shower. I’ll see you after.” I kissed him again.

But he didn’t leave the venue with the other guys. Three songs in, when I walked over to switch my guitar, he was standing there, watching. I shook my head, fighting a grin, before I remembered what was on my damn set list.

Fuck.

How did I sing our encore in front of him?

I’d pulled from my misery for every album. Could I even revisit my set list and come up with a version that wouldn’t hurt?

I ran past the guy holding water and our guitar tech when we went off before the encore, grabbing Varian’s hand. “I’m sorry.”

“No more apologies,” he whispered.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

He looked at our hands, lacing our fingers together. “It doesn’t hurt when I have this.” Why was he being so sexy?

My chest ached. “It’s still hard.”

“I hope it’s hard.” He grinned.

“Not what I meant!”

He squeezed my hand. “Better get back out there and then come home with me.”

“We’re not going home.” I laughed.

“Where you are is home.”

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