Page 170 of Goodbye Note

“I think consent is what it comes down to. Even if you were to wait until, let’s say, eighty-five when most of the people weren’t with us anymore, it’s still on their legacy and their kids and family. I think your art is very different because it’s an experience in an abstract sort of way, and that’s a good way to put it.”

“Fans will have to just be happy with what I do share.”

“Do you think you’ll ever get to a point where you’re in a relationship serious enough to be public?”

I shook my head. “No. I’m almost forty, and it hasn’t happened yet. I don’t think relationships thrive in an atmosphere like this.”

“I think you’re right. So will we be seeing you guys on tour anytime soon?” Lennon asked before we wrapped up.

“I’d keep an eye out for an announcement.”

“You’re serious?” Lennon asked, the shock evident on his face.

“We are,” Serafin added. “It’s a big one.”

“How are you fitting all this in? An album, a tour last year, and now another tour? Shit, aren’t you exhausted? You’re doing more than guys half your age.” Lennon sounded as impressed as his words suggested.

Serafin gave me a side glance, and I shrugged, giving him the go-ahead to say what he wanted.

“For us, we work so well together. Arik is filled with words, and he sends them to me. It’s like unwrapping a gift. He’s never not writing, and since we are already stuck together on tour, it’s just a matter of taking what he has and getting some time to go back and forth with the music.” Ser smiled as he spoke. He’d given me a lot of shit over the years for continuing to write about Varian, but he really did love to create, and the money wasn’t bad either.

“I love this. I love that your connection, after all this time, is still so genuine. You know how rare that is? There are guys who can’t even be in the same room. It’s really something to be celebrated when a band lasts as long as yours does,” Lennon said, adjusting his headphones.

“It really is like being in a long-term relationship and everything that goes along with that. My longest relationship.” I had to laugh, speaking about it that way.

“Mine too,” Serafin added, laughing as well. “And I’m married!”

“It might be harder. Most people don’t have to work with their significant other, too. That’s a lot of time with each other. Then tour buses and hotels… It’s intense. I don’t think I could do it, mate.” Lennon shook his head.“Are you going to tell me what’s coming since this won’t air for months?”

“We are co-headlining a tour,” I said, not caring if he knew.

“I’ve heard whispers about that. Who with?” He glanced between us.

“The label has come up with some names. We are trying to see who’s got time and what the fans would like best.” I gave the answer Kiernan had told me when he came up with the idea.

Ser shifted in his seat and looked down. His tell.

“Ser looks like he’s not saying something…” Lennon glanced between us again. “Do you know something he doesn’t?”

“Like he said, there are a few names that have come up,” Ser said carefully.

“I’ve heard Dopamine-Fiend is also in the planning stages of a tour. Are they on that list?” Lennon asked, and I choked.

I barely schooled my features, but Ser gave it away. He knew something about it.

“I think a lot of names are on the list.” Ser went a little pink.

“I applaud you both, and I look forward to seeing you on tour.”

We thanked him and turned off the mics. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough because I was about to murder my guitarist and manager, and the last thing I needed was a room full of witnesses.

FIFTY

VARIAN

I turned off the podcast, staring at the email sitting in my inbox.

Koa always sent me the files for any new Second Star album the week before release, but I’d let them sit until today. I still didn’t know if that was a kind gesture or a ‘fuck you,’ but I was forever grateful that the first time I had to hear the album wasn’t in public.

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