Page 123 of Goodbye Note

“Why don’t you give Varian one of the junk bunks? You both would probably sleep better.” He turned his mug in his hands, not meeting my eyes.

“I wouldn’t want to have everyone move their stuff,” I hedged.

“I don’t think anyone would mind. There aren’t that many of us, and Kiernan is never even in his. He can turn his into junk if he complains.”

I didn’t want that to be the case either, hoping to claim the back lounge at least sometimes. “I don’t sleep much anyway.”

Serafin gave me a look. A knowing look. “Why aren’t you sleeping, Arik?”

I kicked myself for not just telling him to begin with. I held up a middle finger.

“That’s what I thought.” He brought his mug to his lips. “So…men?”

I guess the secret was out. “That was a surprise for me as well.”

“Was it?” Amusement played over his lips. “So you aren’t or weren’t bisexual? I figured that’s why you were spending so much time with him since our release.”

I screwed up my face. “If I say no, I know what kind of look you’re going to give me, so I’m going to say it’s just him or that I have some, like, repression going on that I need to unpack in therapy.” I laughed, because what else could I do?

Ser wasn’t judgmental at all. He seemed more intrigued. “And you’re cool with the whole dick thing?”

“I thought that was the part that would give me a hang-up, but let me tell you, I’m really into it.” I sipped my coffee, contemplating my life choices and how I got here.

“That good?”

“It’s totally different. Better, actually. I don’t know if that’s our connection or our friendship, but Jesus fucking Christ.” I smirked into my coffee, wanting to give him details like I would with a chick but deciding against it. I liked having Varian to myself.

“You’re making me want to give it a whirl,” he said, like we were talking about trying a new ice cream flavor.

I did a double take. “Bi-curious?”

“I think so.” He lifted his shoulders. “I’m a rock star. I can’t totally rule it out.”

“Fucking fair. But believe it or not, I was hanging out with him because we clicked and I saw him as my best friend. This is a really unexpected turn.”

“Is it that unexpected? He’s been making puppy dog eyes at you since LA. I’m glad it’s worked out.”

“No…”

He nodded. “Oh, yes, he has been.”

“And none of you told me?”

“We figured you knew. He’s been sleeping in your bed for Christ’s sake.”

I pointed at him. “I might deserve that, but I thought you had my back. Clue a dumbass in next time.”

Ser rolled his eyes. “I still can’t believe he’s good enough to make you not straight. Don’t let that get out. The queer haters will start to think turning people is actually possible.”

“It is possible,” Varian’s voice called, still thick with sleep. He appeared a moment later, hair a mess.

I scooted in, making space for him on the bench. “Ser knows. So we don’t have to hide it from the guys.”

“What made you tell him?” Varian took a seat and slid his arm around my shoulders.

“We are obvious, I guess.”

“And sleeping in the same bunk.” Varian took a sip of my coffee and made a face. “Goddamn, that’s too sweet.”

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