Page 102 of Goodbye Note

“They all went to bed.” He pushed, and I let him open the gap wide enough to slip in.I kept the towel between us, clutched to my chest. “You okay?”

I shrugged, breaking the eye contact. “Are you okay?”

“I haven’t let it sink in. I don’t want to.” He was being honest.He reached for me, and I took his hand. “Don’t leave.”

“I’m here.”

“You ran away.” His voice carried agony.

“I couldn’t—” I swallowed thickly. “I didn’t want to lose it in front of them.”

He nodded, chewing over my words. “Okay. Please don’t run away.” Pain worked through his jaw. It flexed, and his eyes closed.

I could only imagine he had some sort of abandonment trauma that went with his childhood, but it had to be immense. I grabbed him, pulling his body to mine. He surged forward, like he’d been waiting for the invitation, and pressed his face into my hair, chest heaving.

“You’re okay. I’m here,” I said against his cheek.

“I thought you’d never speak to me again.” He exhaled and deflated.

“I’d never do that. You are stuck with me for life. Everything else aside, no matter what, we are friends wherever life takes us. I promise.”

He picked up his head and looked into my eyes. “I promise too.” A shuddering convulsion overtook him, and he stepped back, half leaning on the vanity. “You lost your towel.” His tone changed, and his gaze dropped.

I narrowed my eyes slowly, bending over to pick it up, taking my time to wrap it around my waist. “I was taking care of you.”

“Does that mean I shouldn’t look?” His grin returned. It was one of the things I loved about Varian. His smile didn’t waiver, and it always came back. And after what he’d been through, it was a noble thing.

“I never said that.” I lifted my chin, crossing my arms over my chest, feeling a little like we were in a game of chicken.

“Good. I like looking at you.” He tilted his head to the side, dragging his gaze over my chest again.

My skin heated under the stare. “I need clothes. Hope you don’t mind if I borrow some.”

His lips pulled, highlighting his scar in the fluorescent light. “I don’t know whether to tell you to fuck off or kiss you.”

“So hostile. Problem with me in your clothes?”

“It’s hot.”

I grinned, slipping out of the bathroom and running into Lindsay. “Sorry.”

She gave me a double take and the same once-over as Varian had done. “No need to apologize.”

Varian stood in the door of the bathroom wearing a scowl. “You can change in the back lounge. I’m sure Lindsay will be in her bunk.”

She looked between the two of us. “Yep.”

The guys in Dopamine-Fiend had their stuff in hanging organizers. Something I had to tell the guys about if we ever did another tour. I rummaged through Varian’s shirts, looking for one that would annoy him the most. I found one of their band tees. This had to be from the first run of merch.

I tugged it on as Varian pushed open the door.

“I’ve always liked this one. I’m borrowing it.”

“You better mean borrow and not steal. That’s the only one I have.” Varian’s lips drew tight. I liked it. More than I should.

“You own a brand and don’t have more than one?”

“It’s old as fuck. We were too broke back then to keep anything.” He leaned against the door frame in only his towel.

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