Page 86 of Goodbye Note

“Do you want me to?” I asked, wanting him to say it.

“Of course I do.” His voice hitched as I barely brushed over his nipple.

“You take it off me.”

He was on me before I fully got the words out, dragging my shirt up. I half sat, letting him remove it, but he didn’t lie back on his side. He hovered over me, staring into my eyes.

“I’m going to kiss you again.”

I tipped my chin in a slight nod before our mouths joined.

His chest pressed into mine, and I realized it was nothing like kissing a woman. He was hard in all the places they were soft. Pecs heaving into mine with each breath. Harsh fingers gripping and pulling. I ached in my chest and stomach, arousal pooling like the births of stars everywhere his hands touched.

Everything in me wanted to take it further, and at the same time, I hesitated. Could I get off with a man? We’d cuddled and touched, and now we’d made out—what did it matter if I took it one step further?

We broke apart after a long time, lying in each other’s arms. Falling into the familiar. But this was far from our normal cuddling. His fingers stroked, caressed, touched every inch of exposed skin. I slipped into a relaxation like I’d never known, sleep pulling me.

I awoke sometime later with Varian’s arm draped over my back and my face pressed into his chest.

“You slept,” he whispered.

“You’re awake,” I said, my voice thick with sleep.

“I felt you stir.” His normally deep baritone rasped raw, and I’d like to think it was because of how I’d had my tongue down his throat.

“You didn’t sleep, did you?” I asked, sensing something in him.

“No, but I was enjoying myself, so you can’t shame me.”

“Enjoying yourself?” I asked. I had to know what he meant.

“I liked that you slept. You don’t sleep enough.”

“I could sleep forever like this.” There was no lie. “The way you rubbed my back…”

“I noticed. You were out quick.” The smile came through his words. Smug. It felt good.

“I was. Thank you. That’s the best I’ve slept since we’ve been on the road.”

His touch skirted around the edge of my sweats. “I feel like I have a superpower.”

“You do. Magic fucking hands,”I murmured.

“The man who can put the stars to sleep.”

“Tell me what your tattoos mean.” I’d always envied them. My skin felt so bare, laid out next to his. I traced the sweeping flowers across his stomach.

“Those are for my mother.” There was no sorrow to his tone, but his eyes closed and a softness took his form, making him look fragile.

I’d never wanted to protect someone so much in my life, but I didn’t shy away from the subject. “And these?” I traced the words under his collarbones. One said, Eyes Up and the other Rise Up in mirror writing.

“Hamilton, but I liked the meaning.”

“What do they mean?” I asked.

“To him or me?”

“You, of course.” I had the sudden urge to brush my lips over his collarbones. Was this just being a horny guy? I’d never been attracted to a man before. It had to be the closeness I felt to him and not having gotten laid in so long.

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