Page 35 of Goodbye Note

point out every One of my indiscretions to make yourself feel

better try harder. i’m slipping throUgh your

fingers slide over skin. please just let me

in silence, we know each other

best way to Ruin what we have to say

less is more, but you know how to twist

the knife Edge i walk so No One knows me at

all your promises are so well

puT every word into over

drive off the Highway

splatter my words across the

concrete the forests of our

hearts are so last

year after year and we’re still

here I am. take me as i

aM i enough?

I didn’t bother with my email, not wanting to see what real life left me. I opened socials then immediately closed it when Nicole’s face smiled back at me. She’d sent me a message there, and her feed was full of pictures I couldn’t bear to look. Sleeping alone was hard enough. The hours between stops became my personal lonely hell. But I didn’t know how to fix it. Not like I could proposition Ser to share a bed to get some human contact.

I signed off and shoved to my feet, gaze falling on a black Sharpie left on the desk. I glanced around before shoving it into my pocket. I’d been meaning to snag one and kept forgetting.

I checked my phone on the way back to the bus.

Nothing.

Being this quiet wasn’t like him.

ELEVEN

VARIAN

“You going to check your phone over and over the whole drive?” Vallen asked, taking a seat next to me.

“What else do we have to do?” I tossed it on the table.

“Enjoy this brand-new fucking bus? Shit, we’ve never had anything this nice.” Vallen couldn’t get over it as we’d spent a lot of the last two years touring out of a van. Having a shower made us feel like kings.

“This success to you?” I asked playfully, picking up my phone to find a different movie to put on. Maybe this one would finally distract me.

“It feels like it. Like we are starting to not just exist in our parent’s shadow.”

I turned to look him in the eyes. “Do you feel that way? Or do Grandma and Gramps feel that way?”

“Me…both, I guess.” He paused. “Or maybe I’m projecting. They’ve never said anything. Why do you care so much what they think?”

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