Page 32 of Sinister Devotion

"Patience, Claire." Julian's reply does everything except encourage patience. However, his hand reaches over to pat me on the knee, bringing up memories from the other day. His light taps graduate into slow rubs of his thumb while his mind is obviously elsewhere.

Back at the manor, Julian whispers to me. "After you put away your gifts, meet me in the kitchen."

He gets out of the car, grabs the boxes from Edward and heads into the house. Edward circles around to the door, opening it for me.

"Claire." Edward shoves his hands in his pockets. "Listen, I know you and Julian are …"

I'm mortified. How much does Edward know? Of course, he knows me and Julian are intimate. He's his Head of Security and best friend. We just left a boutique specializing in lingerie and jewelry where I had Julian's cock in my mouth. No one saw us, but I'm certain Edward's smart enough to put two and two together. My face heats with embarrassment.

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable," I blurt out.

"No, it's nothing like that. I was just going to tell you that I'm willing to work with you. The truck backfiring and the way your entire body goes rigid in the back seat when you sit by yourself can hinder you in ways you least expect. I'm not a professional by any means, but I can show you some things that worked for me and Julian."

"And Julian?"

Edward turns away as if he's said too much. "Yeah. If you really want this, be patient with him. Whatever it is you two are doing together, work with him. You've met Charleston and Bianca?"

I nod.

He sighs, and says, "And if things get too intense, call me, Claire."

"I will," I assure him as he retreats into the house.

Three blush pink boxes sit on my bed when I get to my room. The biggest box is about two feet long, a foot and a half wide, and six inches deep. Shoes.

Not just shoes, five-inch stiletto, thigh high boots. Black leather thigh high boots that are my size and I'm sure Nina's to thank for the accurate measurements. The other boxes are smaller, only an inch or two deep, with one holding the lingerie I tried on in the boutique. The other is a black latex number that looks more like a harness than lingerie.

I have no idea where Nina keeps this stuff in the boutique, but it makes me wonder how Julian knows that she sells it. I shake the flashes of Julian's past from my head. Of course he's not a virgin. He has a history. Even if he hasn't been able to fully go down that path, he's taking a chance by gifting this stuff to me.

I put everything away, wondering when we'll be able to try them out. After a quick shower and throwing on a simple tank and shorts set, I head to the kitchen where Julian's standing in a pair of loose-fitting pajama pants. Shirtless, with a triangular pattern of chest hair that makes him look far less clean-cut than the suits he wears to the office every day.

He places a glass onto the large wooden table in the center of the room. It's not for dining, but for meal prep, especially when there are large gatherings held here. The bottle beside the glass lets me know it's Scotch.

"I took you to Nina's tonight?—"

"I know to buy your forgiveness. Apology accepted, but forgiveness is pending." I tease, uneasy with the seriousness of his gaze.

The slow sip of the honey-colored liquid mixes with the hardness of his green eyes. My silence is as loud of an apology as I can muster, giving him the space to talk to me.

"Claire, I meant what I said when I told you that you belong to me. The other side of that is me belonging to you. I don't want to go into this relationship with you, and not have you understand the kind of man I am."

He waits for me to say something sarcastic or a joke to ease the tension, but I'm listening intently. From Edward's words to me in the garage, to this moment in the kitchen, there's more to Julian as a lover than simply fucking me like he's angry that another guy finds me attractive.

"I've told you some things about my childhood. What I haven't told you is how I've coped with those battles. Do you know what a dungeon is, Claire?"

I keep my eyes fixed on him as I speak. "There are dungeons like the ones you find in Medieval castles, and then there are sex dungeons where people like to beat each other up or something like that. Is that what your darker side is about, Julian? You're into BDSM?"

"Have you ever been to one, or seen one?" he asks.

"Is this some sort of a test? I've never sucked dick before and look what happened. You think at some point since my eighteenth birthday I've managed to sneak out and find my way into some sort of sex dungeon?" I ask him.

"You wouldn't have to sneak out to see one, Claire."

My heart races as my eyes dart around the room. We're in the kitchen. I know every room in the manor. I don't recall any of them having whips and chains.

"Where is it?" I ask him.

"There's a butler's room and pantry I've converted into a playroom of sorts, but I don't want to take you down there until we set some ground rules."

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