Page 38 of Sinister Devotion

"How many people have you brought in here?" she asks, but then backtracks, "No, don't answer that. I don't want to know your body count."

"No one but the trades who built it for me have been in this room. I took this task on when I first started exploring my relationship to pain and pleasure. I realized very quickly I didn't want anyone else here. I haven't dated anyone seriously enough to show them this room This room became something unattainable for me, a place that said I had to find a woman to use it with and know that she wouldn't use what we do here against me."

"Julian, I would never?—"

I cut her off. "Claire, I trust you. I also know I can't hide this side of myself from you. The more I bury these parts of me, the more, uh, outbursts, I have."

The way her head shifts up and down, as if pieces of an internal puzzle come together tells me she's linking my temper to my pent-up tension. I turn the lights all the way up and show her around.

"The lights and music can be controlled with the same app we use for the rest of the house."

"It's so, so, clean and bright. Cream colored walls and white tiled floors? Where are the whips, chains, and that big X thing that you tie people to?" Her eyes bounce around the space, and I sense a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"Claire, I have chronic night terrors. I don't want that same darkness in a place I'm supposed to enjoy myself with a woman I care about. The last thing I want to do is pull you into the dark with me."

She spins to face me, closing the gap between us and stretching onto her toes to kiss me. Her fingers run through my hair, raking against my scalp, and I fall into the moment, letting her tongue push into my mouth. I let Claire take whatever she needs from me, because she needs to be in control. She needs to see how much I want this and how much I want her to be in this part of my life.

When she pulls away, I take her by the hand, kissing the top to show her the rest. "It took four guys to haul the wood in for these bed posts."

I tap the behemoth taking up the center of the back wall. Four large posts keep the king-sized bed suspended above the floor, with iron spindles running between the top two posts and across the bottom posts as well. Claire runs her small hands between them.

"Easy to tie someone down," I tell her as we move toward an open doorway which leads into a small walk-thru closet and finally into a private en suite. "This has some stuff in it, generic mostly. I wanted to wait to personalize the stuff more."

"You have a favorite thing you like done to you?" She cocks her head to the side, opening drawers and running her fingers across an assortment of paddles.

"I did. The paddle, the wooden one used to feel great against the back of my thighs, but I haven't performed a scene in a long time. We can go through this stuff, see what we like, see what we don't. All of it's new, untouched. I'm hoping the fact you're not running out of here says you're at least interested."

"I'm very interested. And is that a swing?" she asks, leaving the closet and heading back into the main room. Claire bounces around the room like a pinball.

"Yeah, it folds up like a Murphy bed. There's a huge soaker tub in the bathroom for relaxation and recovery. No Saint Andrew's Cross because I don't like being tied up. I need to be able to have my hands free."

"Do you want to tie me up?"

"We can try that."

"What about this drawer? What's in here?" she asks of the drawer in a nightstand beside the table. The interior is lined in dark blue velvet where an assortment of plugs and clamps sit in size order.

The way she picks up one plug, turning it around like a marble makes me chuckle.

"Anal plug, Claire."

"I've seen one of these online. There was a fox tail attached to it," she says matter-of-factly.

"I don't judge, but the furry business is not in my wheelhouse."

She picks up a flexible black band, stretching the Oh-shaped silicone with her thumb and index finger. "Where does this go?"

"Around me, at the base where it stops me from coming." The way her eyes widen in horror, pulls a chuckle out of me. I assure her. "It's fine, Claire. It's not permanent. The cock ring comes off, but it can heighten pleasure, pain. You can use it to punish or reward me."

"How do we use these?" She puts the ring down and picks up a pair of clamps. Two identical pinchers about the size of a Jolly Rancher that open and close with a silver link chain connecting the pair.

I take them from her, gripping her by the waist. I press firmly against her torso and let my thumbs trace the outline of her stomach up to her breasts, rubbing them behind her shirt until her nipples perk. She moans and I pull the collar of her soft t-shirt down to pull one out.

My mouth descends on the hardening bud, letting my tongue flick against it. I use my lips at first to press her nipple between them. She whimpers a gasp. I palm her ass with my free hand to keep her close to me but can't stop it from snaking its way up the bottom of her shorts.

My fingers graze her slit as my mouth applies pressure to her tit. She grabs me by the hair as I work my mouth over her nipple. When I dip a finger inside of her, she moans out my name.

"Julian."

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