Page 124 of The Sinner's Bargain

I expected fear when I dared to face her again. I expected shock and disbelief. But Blue touched my arm with a wrapped hand.

“I don’t believe that. Tell me what happened.”

Maybe I needed the fifteen-minute walk back to the house to organize my thoughts.

Maybe I needed the silence to enjoy what may be the last time she wanted to be alone with me.

Whatever thought process my brain had, I found myself leading her to the office. I left her to decide if she wanted to sit or stand as I went to the hearth and lit a fire. Then I took the armchair. I shrugged out of my coat, draped it over the back and sank into the stiff cushion.

Blue closed the door I had intentionally left open and moved deeper into the room. Her thin fingers unclasped the buttons on her coat and she pulled it off, blue eyes never wavering off me. The article of clothing was tossed on the couch. Her boots were peeled off and placed on the floor. Then she was standing before me, our knees bumping.

Without a word, she curled up in my lap. Her arms around my neck. Her scent a noose around my chest.

“Tell me,” she whispered.

My traitorous hand brushed a lock of hair. “You might want to sit away from me until you hear it.”

Blue shook her head. “I like this spot, and I’m not scared of you.”

I hadn’t realized how badly I needed to hear that, how desperately my soul begged for those five words until it rushed out of me in a growl. My arms snaked around her, promising to never let go again as they tightened.

My tormenting angel rested her head on my shoulder and waited.

“I lied to you the evening we looked at my family portraits. I didn’t tell you everything.” I skimmed my palm down the soft sweater covering her arm to where her elbow bent. “I told you their stories but not all of it.” I took a deep breath, and her face nuzzled my neck. “Hael Lacroix killed his wife. He chased her down in the dead of night and strangled her with his bare hands.”

Blue made no comment. She didn’t move. She sat still and quiet and I continued.

“Hael was a bastard in every sense of the word. He was cruel and calculating. He murdered an entire village of settlers and took their land. He dug up their graves, robbed them, and burned their bones.”

Blue made a small choking sound but didn’t stop me.

“He built this house for his new bride. He created a castle to hide the fact that he was a terrible man. He told no one, until he started writing about whispers in the walls and the dead following him through the halls. In the end, his crimes drove him to murder the woman he loved. It seemed to be the guilt that finally pushed him over and he killed himself.”

I stroked Blue’s back. Waited for her to tell me to stop. When she remained quiet, I continued.

“Vittoria, Jeffery’s wife, was found in the lake.” My mind immediately flashed to the previous night and Blue getting pulled under. I tightened my arms. My lips found her forehead. “She had a chain and cinder block around her neck when they found her body. Everyone suspected suicide, but I think it was Jeffrey.”

“Thoran,” Blue breathed.

“Stop?”

Her back shuddered with her shaky inhale, but she shook her head.

I went on. “Catalina died in childbirth. My grandfather Orson killed my grandmother.” I paused for a heartbeat. “My mom.”

Blue’s arms tightened. “You don’t have to,” she whispered into my neck.

“I have to,” I told her. “You have to know.” When she didn’t press, I relieved my worst nightmare. “I was fifteen when I found her at the bottom of the stairs. Neck broken. I lost both my parents that morning. My dad may as well have died without her. She was everything to him. Without her, he didn’t seem to know how to be human anymore. Until he couldn’t pretend and walked into the swamps.”

“I’m sorry,” she rasped. “I’m so sorry.”

I stared into the flames. The faces of my family stared back with disjointed jaws and hollow eyes. They screamed and writhed as if burning in their afterlife. As if hell itself had latched onto their damned souls and refused to let go.

One day, that would be me. I would be a melting face in the flames. Screaming in agony for all eternity because I killed my sweet, little Blue.

Blue raised her head. Her cool fingers touched my face, pulling me back to the room.

To her.

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