Page 85 of Surface Pressure

“Soulara.” Honour’s voice was that of her friend, not the fearless general who would stand by her side and fight until her last breath.

“Yes?” Soulara turned around, her fluke curving into a crescent moon so she could gently move her end fins just enough to keep from staying entirely still.

“Be careful, Princess. Reine wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“Nor without you.” Soulara dipped her head once, flipped over again and pushed her fluke down with as much force as she dared while still in the castle walls.

She didn’t like the taste of the lie she’d told Honour. It lingered on her lips, tart and toxic.

“I didn’t lie,” she muttered for the tenth time. She needed to sort out her feelings toward Autumn and what she could do to ensure that when her people went to war, no other thoughts would distract her.

But she didn’t head toward the surface.

She knew the way well enough now, the turns and dips in current that led to her mother’s home.

“Soulara?” Milan met her at the door, concern etched into her fine beautiful features.

“I’m lost. I don’t know what to do.”

“Oh, sweet child.” Milan opened her arms and pulled her daughter into them.

Soulara breathed in the familiar scent, and for a time, too short a time, she allowed herself to be just Soulara, Milan and Pregtox’s daughter. Nothing else. How she wished those two things would be enough for her to save them all. But this time there was no way of getting away from the throne. She’d known it, and yet still she had yearned to be proved wrong.

Milan swam them to a low moss-covered rock, large enough to fit the two of them several times over.

“You’re finally learning how wonderful and how horrible love can truly be.”

“Why?”

“Why are you learning about love?” Milan looked confused.

“No.” Soulara shook her head, trying to find the words. Because this wasn’t about Autumn. Not yet anyway. This was about her parents. “Why did you just walk away? You knew what it would be like before you two got together, but you still did it, only to walk away later. Did you resent him?”

“No.” Milan didn’t look shocked or offended by the question, and while the pain and confusion regarding Autumn all but consumed Soulara, she focused hard on her mother. Did her parents’ relationship hold answers for her own woes with Autumn?

“No what?”

“I don’t resent him. I thought I could adjust, and I thought it would be enough to support him.” Milan smoothed her hand over Soulara’s, clenching their fingers tightly together.

“You were enough,” Soulara whispered. She’d believed that her entire life because if she hadn’t, then she didn’t know or understand who her father was.

“For you I might have been, if I had stayed.” Pain radiated in Milan’s eyes, but she smiled, a smile filled with a sadness that bored a hole through Soulara’s chest.

“But you left.” Why was her voice so close to breaking? Soulara hated dragging up the past. She’d always looked forward, to the future, but away from where she knew she’d end up.

“And it’ll remain the worst mistake of my life.”

Cold washed through Soulara. She’d never heard her mother speak so candidly, so purely about mistakes. When she’d found her mother again, Soulara had simply avoided this pain, worried that diving into it would push them both back to the breaking point that made Milan leave in the first place.

But it hadn’t.

Soulara bushed her hands over her face and closed her eyes. This wasn’t about her parents. This was always about Autumn. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Follow your heart.” Milan ran her fingers through her daughter’s hair, and Soulara remembered when she would go to her as a child, hurt or scared. Her mother would soothe her just as she did now.

“I can’t abandon my people.” Soulara believed that firmly. She would be Queen of Reine, even if that meant sacrificing everything else in her life.

“Then you need to find a way. Nothing is impossible so long as you trust and believe.” Milan’s fingers reached a tangle, and she gently tugged it loose.

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