Page 87 of Shameless Expectations

“Yes, ma’am.” Monti crawled up her until their mouths could touch.

Athena tasted herself on Monti’s lips, the wet from Monti’s cheeks rubbing against Athena’s face. The scent was unmistakable arousal, and the taste so tangy compared to what she’d always assumed it would be like. Not that she’d done a whole lot of thinking about that either.

Bringing her leg up, Athena pushed into the bed and flipped them over so that she was on top of Monti. She deepened the kiss and slid her hand between their bodies, caressing Monti’s breast before sliding her hand even lower. She wanted to pick up right where she left off. She wanted Monti to feel her inside just like Athena had in the plane.

“I want what we were doing before.”

“Yes. Do that,” Monti answered, already parting her legs to give Athena the space.

Their mouths were pressed together again, and Athena slipped one finger inside Monti. She teased her, sliding her thumb back and forth. Monti keened before pulling Athena in for another kiss. Athena wasn’t going to stop this time. She kept her fingers between Monti’s legs, teasing.

Monti held Athena, arms around her back, tightening her grasp. Athena didn’t stop. She rocked harder, pressing deeper. “Do you like this?”

“Yes,” Monti breathed her answer. “Yes, I love it.”

“Good.” Athena kissed down Monti’s neck to the top of her chest, licking her collar bone and tasting her damp skin. She scraped her teeth and kissed again.

“Athena.” Monti’s voice cracked.

Athena could tell that Monti was close, that they were about to reach the pinnacle, that they were about to do everything they had been waiting for since that last massage in Seattle. Athena held Monti close, twisting her hand and her wrist.

“Let me see you fall apart.”

Monti gasped, her body tensing. She breathed hard and pressed her face into the crook of Athena’s neck and held on. Athena didn’t want to let her go either. In fact, she wanted to stay here all night, cocooned in the safety of Monti’s arms. And that was exactly what they were going to do.

twenty-seven

“Fuck!”

Monti sat straight up in the bed, her entire body ready for flight. She blinked back the weariness as she figured out where she was and caught her bearings. She missed her van, the small confinements made nights like these so much easier. There wasn’t as much lurking in the shadows because there weren’t as many shadows.

A rustling startled her, and when she looked down, she found Athena curled up on her side with the covers across her hips, fast asleep. They’d stayed up most of the night, touching and talking, kissing and listening. Monti brushed her fingers lightly over Athena’s temple and moved her hair away from her face.

Athena was fast asleep.

Monti sighed in relief as she leaned against the pillow and attempted to relax. She stared up at the ceiling and did what she’d told so many clients to do—took slow deep breaths. One after the other. Push away negative thoughts. Settle into the emotion.

But it wasn’t working.

Despite how long she lay there and tried to catch her bearings, she couldn’t manage to do it. All of her nerves told her that something bad was going to happen, that someone was going to come into the room, that she would be covered in darkness and wouldn’t be able to see, that the panic she’d felt wasn’t going to go away.

After an hour had passed, Monti slid from the bed as quietly as possible. She slipped her clothes out of the drawer and dressed in the bathroom. Before she knew it, she was downstairs. The pot of coffee brewed quickly, and she immediately made herself a cup.

Monti finished her coffee, but she couldn’t stay still. She bounced on her toes as she paced through the kitchen and then the small living area where she and Athena had spent a considerable amount of time reading. But she couldn’t stay there.

With her heart in her throat, she walked out onto the back deck and stared at the waves lapping in the dark water. That was what her soul felt like. A black abyss. Why did that thought hurt so much? Empty tears fell down her cheeks. She crossed her arms and hugged herself, trying to ward off the chill in the air.

Or rather, the chill in her soul.

Monti blew out a breath as more tears joined the others. Why on earth was she crying? She swiped at her cheeks and stepped off the wide stairs of the deck and into the sand. Small grains of sand. They could be molded in so many ways, transformed into beautiful things.

Not unlike people. All it took was time and effort and energy. Monti had wrongfully assumed that all her time on the road she’d been doing that, but she couldn’t have been more wrong. All she’d done was hide effectively in plain sight.

She walked aimlessly, moving down the beach as she allowed her emotions to guide wherever she needed to go.

What was she doing here?

It was fun coming on this trip, a more extravagant one than she’d pay for herself, with someone she cared about and enjoyed spending time with. Monti bit her lip and smiled. Since when had they shifted from client and therapist to friends with some benefits? That slide had been almost easy, but it felt right. Monti walked along the edge of where the waves came up onto the sand, wetting her toes but not her feet as she followed the curve of the water.

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