Page 70 of Shameless Expectations

“Fine.” Fallon gave her a hard stare. “I’m still not convinced that you two aren’t sleeping together.”

“Oh my God. She’s married.”

Fallon snorted. “You say that like I’m an idiot. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. And I think she’s called you more in the last month than she’s called me ever. Definitely more than she’s called Mr. Brock.”

“You work for her. Why would she call you outside of the job?” Immediately Monti knew she’d said something wrong. The look in Fallon’s eyes was too gleeful, too self-serving, too excited.

“I knew it!” Fallon shouted. “You are sleeping with her!”

“I’m not!” Monti clenched her fist and glanced at the door to the library. “I swear we haven’t had sex. But if you don’t let me get to the office, I’m going to be late, and we know the fit of rage she’ll have if I’m late and we miss our flight.”

“If you haven’t had sex…yet…then you want to.”

Monti pressed her lips together hard. They rarely talked like this. But something in Monti told her this was the time to confide, the time to lean into that sisterly bond they had. “We’ve kissed, yes. But I don’t…” Monti paused, again trying to find the right words. “I don’t know if anything will happen. Something just doesn’t feel right.”

“Feel right?” Fallon checked her watch. “We have ten minutes.”

Fallon dragged Monti into the library and pointed at the chairs in a command.

Giving in, Monti sat in the chair she’d unofficially claimed as hers. Fallon took the other one. Where was this going? Was Fallon going to divulge everything Monti had been waiting for? Did she even know? Based on what Athena had told her, no one knew.

“Look, our parents fucked us up.”

“What?” Monti jerked her head back. She hadn’t been expecting that twist.

“They did. You can deny that they affected you until you turn blue, but the fact is, they fucked us up. Dad by killing mom and then himself. Mom because she stayed with him too long, but then I guess we wouldn’t have you and that would be a tragedy.”

“Where are you going with this?” Monti curled her fingers around the edge of the chair, clinging onto it for dear life. She’d been down this road so many times, and she really didn’t want to go down it again.

“They fucked us up. What if the reason it doesn’t feel right is because you were born into the worst kind of wrong?”

“I don’t want to psychoanalyze my own life any more than I already have.” Monti put her hands on her knees and prepared to stand up and leave. She didn’t have time for this conversation. “Mom made some bad choices in her life. We can’t go back in time and change those. But I don’t remember what it was like in that house.”

“Our bodies have memories. Aren’t you the one who told me that?”

Monti scrunched her nose. She had told Fallon that. And she’d believed it at one point too, but she’d never managed to remember anything specific. No matter how many types of therapy she tried, it just wasn’t there. “That is true.”

“So you remember some of it, whether you remember it up here or not.” Fallon pointed to her temple. “Maybe that’s why this doesn’t feel right.”

“What doesn’t feel right?”

“You and Athena.”

“I don’t think that’s it.” Monti rubbed her thighs, all her nervous habits coming back. She thought she’d gotten rid of those. “She hired me for a job, and I’m here to do that job.”

“By going to Florida with her?”

Monti shrugged. “I go where I want to, and sometimes that’s where the work is.”

“Give me a break.” Fallon rolled her eyes. “Am I happy you’re interested in my boss? No. But I’m not going to stop you either. You both deserve a little bit of freedom from the oppression you seem to live under.”

“What do you mean by that?” Monti’s chest tightened. What the hell was Fallon getting at? This conversation was taking all sorts of odd twists and turns.

“Do you really not see how similar you two are?” Fallon raised an eyebrow. “I can’t believe you.”

“What do you mean similar?”

“You really don’t, do you? You both avoid your feelings with the best of them. You shut down at any sign of emotion. You refuse to admit you need help. You run away from your problems. You both have hearts of ice.”

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