Page 23 of Shameless Expectations

Athena toed off her shoes and sat on the edge of the mattress, pulling herself backward until she was close to the middle. She looked at Monti, once again needing some kind of direction. She begged for it, truly. Monti stayed where she was, leaning against the desk.

“Lie on your back. That way you can still see me.”

With a deep breath, Athena moved slowly. Monti waited until she was settled and ready before walking quietly toward her. She touched Athena’s shoulder lightly and waited to have her full attention. “Are you ready?”

“I suppose.”

“Athena.” Monti had learned that using her first name eased that professional barrier down a little in a way that worked to her advantage.

“Yes. Yes, I’m ready,” Athena corrected.

“I’m going to start with your neck and shoulders, okay? Any time anything is uncomfortable or hurts, I want you to tell me.” Monti still didn’t move until Athena looked up at her and nodded. Then, and only then, did she slide her fingers through Athena’s hair, pulling it out from under her body and laying it out.

Monti poured more oil into her fingers and rubbed them together to warm them before she started. “Have you seen a professional counselor before?”

Athena’s jaw hardened, no doubt trying to find a way to avoid the direct question. Monti followed the line of muscle and pushed Athena’s head to the side to stretch it and move it. She breathed slowly, focusing her attention on Athena’s body and on what she wasn’t saying.

“Athena,” Monti tried again.

“Yes.” It was an answer to the question.

“And I assume they didn’t work.”

“They didn’t.” Athena’s eyes fluttered shut. “Can I have silence?”

“Yes.” Monti pressed her lips together hard, but she stopped asking questions. Especially intrusive ones, despite the fact that she kept thinking about them.

Every time she ended up in Athena’s presence, she wanted to know more. She wanted to figure out why Athena ticked this particular way, why she was so resistant to any kind of touch. Monti used some more oil as she enticed Athena to turn onto her front.

Her shirt shifted in the process, the tank top sliding farther over on her shoulder. Monti frowned at the skin, the sharp bright white line that was without a doubt a scar. One that had been deep and long, and another one that was quite old. She avoided touching it, especially without permission, and moved to sliding her hands up the nape of Athena’s neck as she leaned over her.

The silence was deafening because normally Monti was used to talking through these sessions. She beckoned Athena to turn back over, starting on her scalp and the craniosacral massage again. Her fingers slid through Athena’s hair, slicking it with the oil still on her fingertips. The scent wasn’t strong. In fact, it was barely there, but Monti knew it should help relax Athena even more.

Athena’s breathing deepened. It slowed. Her legs and arms twitched as she slowed into a light slumber. Monti continued the massage until she was sure that Athena was deep in sleep. Finally she pulled away, silently stepping back from the sleeping woman.

Wiping her hands on the towel in the bathroom after washing them, Monti waited to see if Athena would wake up. Still she rested. Monti couldn’t leave her here alone, not with the way she had woken up the last time. She would need some sort of care afterward.

Monti pulled a throw over Athena’s body, making sure that she was covered. Then she turned around the room and tried to figure out what to do next. Three books were stacked on the corner of the desk. With nothing else to do, Monti snagged the one on top and smiled at the familiar cover. She slid into the desk chair and began reading. She would wait until Athena woke.

Then they could start the real work.

eight

Warmth.

Athena was cocooned in it. The fingers of sleep surrounded her and pulled at her, trying to keep her under their spell. Yet at the same time, sunlight brushed across her skin, and she could feel the warm rays tickling her flesh and teasing her into wakefulness.

Is this what it was like?

Turning on her side, Athena reached for her pillow to pull it under her chest and maybe catch a few more minutes of slumber. But when she stretched out her arm, she was met with nothing but her cold comforter. Wrinkling her nose with dissatisfaction, Athena stretched her fingers out. The bed was cold. But she was so warm, so filled with rest.

On her back again, Athena blinked her eyes awake and stared at the ceiling above her. It took her more time than she cared to admit to clear her vision and focus on the pattern of the molding. Her breaths were deep and slow still, and she felt a sense of peace within her in a way it hadn’t ever been before.

Athena ran through her body, stretching her muscles starting with her toes and working her way up. She felt amazing. Energy coursed through her. She wouldn’t even need that extra cup of coffee for the jolt of caffeine that morning. Maybe she could do without it entirely? She smiled at that. Who was she kidding? She’d never do without that.

Stretching her arms above her head, she teased the muscles in her back into submission. Who was she and what had she done with the person who couldn’t sleep? This was exactly what she’d needed. She would have to send Monti something as a thank you or give her the world’s biggest tip when she told Fallon to pay her.

Athena lifted herself up, her hands planted on the mattress behind her. Halfway sitting, she looked at the bed and frowned. She must have fallen asleep in the middle of the massage again. That was so unlike her. But then again, it had been so long since she’d properly slept—

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