Page 102 of Shameless Expectations

It was this pure child-like joy that Monti seemed to have since they’d arrived. At least in moments like this. Then there were the other moments, when Athena had seen the weight of the world on her shoulders and had been unable to pry Monti loose from that responsibility.

Still, the call to wade into the water and join her was strong.

Just what would it feel like to have the water carry away everything she didn’t want to think about?

Athena stepped a little closer, her feet freezing as the water rushed over her skin. Would she do anything for Monti? She wanted to be the person who would. Another step into the water, and her pants started to get wet. Athena sucked in a sharp breath.

She couldn’t get naked, not like Monti did. She couldn’t make herself do that, but she could walk in. She could do this part of the way. But would that be enough? Was she whole enough for this? Gnawing on her cheek again, Athena went in a little farther.

Kevin would think she was a lunatic for this. He wouldn’t even recognize her. Or maybe he would. Twenty-five years ago she might have thought about this. All before she’d been broken. All before she’d been shattered into a million little pieces. Athena stepped in even farther, her shins getting wet.

Monti laughed as she dunked herself under the water again.

Just how freeing was it?

Athena stopped hesitating. She walked into the water and followed Monti’s path. Monti came up from the waves just as Athena got there and snagged her hands. Monti wrapped her arms around Athena’s waist and held on tight in a hug.

“I’m so glad you came,” Monti whispered. “The water feels amazing.”

Athena’s breath was loud in her ears as she pressed her cheek into Monti’s. She struggled to remember how to breathe properly, Monti’s naked form pressed against her, the dampness seeping through her clothes.

“How do you want to change?” Monti murmured into her ear. “What do you want to leave behind?”

“My mistakes,” Athena answered immediately. “All of them.”

“Down you go.”

Athena held her breath and dipped below the surface of the water. It was freezing cold. It bit at her skin, feeling like her flesh was being ripped from her muscles. Athena gasped as she stood up. Monti gripped onto her elbows, holding her upright.

“What else?” Monti rushed.

“My pain.”

Without being asked, Athena dropped back into the ocean. The water was loud as it rushed over her head, but this time the biting cold wasn’t so bad. When she resurfaced, she was expecting Monti to be close to her this time. And instead of waiting for a breath, Athena pressed their mouths together. Monti hummed, cupping her cheeks.

Athena sighed into the kiss, longing for it to be deeper than this. But she wasn’t quite ready yet, and intuitively, she understood that Monti wasn’t either. Without being asked, Athena offered up the next thing she wanted to erase from herself. “My belief that I’m not worthy.”

Monti’s lips parted in surprise. Athena locked their eyes together as she lowered herself slowly into the water and below its surface. This time when she came back up, she knew she was ready. She wanted this. She wanted a relationship with Monti. She wanted to believe that she wasn’t too broken for love.

Their mouths touched again.

Athena slid her tongue along Monti’s lips, praying that Monti would let her in just a little more. She shivered as their wet bodies pressed together, as they melded even closer. Athena enfolded herself around Monti. She wasn’t going to go under the water again, not without Monti this time, not without the hope that when she came back up something would be different.

Slipping her hand across Monti’s breast in a tease, Athena tested to see how open Monti would be to seduction this time. It was as though she’d gone into the bedroom and come out a completely new person. Whoever she’d been talking to on the phone must have helped her. Athena only wished she’d been able to do that. But she wasn’t good at the interpersonal.

Monti hummed, deepening the kiss and pulling Athena in even closer. Athena closed her eyes, focusing on the feel of their bodies together. She felt so free with Monti. She was unconfined by everything that had kept her imprisoned before. She had peace and joy and hope and love. Monti nipped at her lip.

“No matter how much I try to stop touching you, whenever you get close, I can’t stop myself from wanting this.” Monti’s words sounded almost foreign.

“Stop touching me?” Athena asked, still keeping her hands on Monti’s body, sliding her fingers from her waist to her hip. “I don’t ever want you to stop.”

Monti kissed her neck. Athena tilted her head to give Monti better access, to encourage her to do more than she was already doing. She knew that at some point she was going to have to be more forward, but she wasn’t sure today was the day. Athena hugged Monti closer.

“Please don’t ever stop,” Athena murmured.

Why was she saying that? Why was she pushing this relationship when Monti so clearly was still struggling with it? Athena slid her hand against Monti’s ass, holding her firmly. Their mouths locked together in a furious, desperate kiss.

Despair clawed at her. If this was their last chance, then Athena was going to take it. If she could feel any of this freedom, then she wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible. Athena arched her back, pulling Monti with her as a large wave came up and pounded against their thighs. They were going to have to go in soon. But to get a few more moments, Athena held on.

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