Page 96 of Shameless Expectations

“It doesn’t matter if I do or I don’t,” Athena answered. “I think you deserve to live the life you choose, and I deserve to live mine. We don’t have to pretend anymore.”

“Who was pretending?”

There was that hurt she’d been expecting. Athena pressed her lips together firmly. She wished she was better at this part of life, but she wasn’t. She never managed to get it right the first time. She pinched the bridge of her nose to concentrate. “We both were pretending in this marriage, not in our love for each other. You know that, and I know that.”

“Why now?” Kevin sighed heavily. “Jesus, Athena, we’ve been married for twenty-two years almost. Why are you deciding you can’t do this anymore?”

That really was the ultimate question, wasn’t it? She had spent years doing what everyone else around her wanted, and she was done with it. But what had flipped that switch for her? What had been the thing that pushed her over the edge?

“It was Monti,” she said simply.

“Because you’re in love.”

“Not because I’m in love.” Was that even a denial? She was getting weaker with it every passing moment. “Because she helped me get my head on straight. I haven’t been myself for decades, Kev.”

“I know.” He sniffled. “I’ve missed you.”

“You are the most patient man on this planet.” She smiled to herself, wishing he was here in person for this conversation, but knowing it had to happen this way. She couldn’t wait for it, and it was easier if she didn’t have to look at him. “I want you to be free to be happy.”

“I am happy.”

“You’re not.” Athena swiped at the tear that trickled down her cheek. “You haven’t been in a long time. You’re satisfied.”

“You really have had your eyes opened.”

She smiled at that. “I have.”

Standing at the window again, she stared outside, wishing she could see Monti now. What would Monti tell her? What would they talk about if Monti knew she was doing this? Athena rubbed her fingers over her lips, remembering their kisses, their caresses.

“I don’t want this life anymore,” she murmured. “Not that what we’ve had hasn’t been good, but it’s not what I want anymore.”

“What if it’s what I want?”

“Do you?” She hadn’t honestly thought that was a possibility. Athena had always assumed that when she was ready to call it quits, he would walk with her hand in hand to sign those papers. He’d never been someone who would resist her requests. It had been how she’d convinced him to marry her in the first place.

“I want what’s best for us, all of us.”

“And Simon?” She had to ask. She needed to know what he was going to tell Simon, what they needed to share with him.

“He’s always going to be my son, Athena. I couldn’t give him up even if I wanted to.”

She breathed out relief, and it flooded her chest and into her fingers and toes. Athena pressed her head to the window frame and reveled in the cool wood as it touched her skin. “I worry about him so much.”

“He’s an adult. He’s going to do what he’s going to do.”

“No, not that.” She stood up straight. “I’m worried that he’ll become them.”

“Oh, baby, he’ll never do that.” She could almost feel the hug he’d no doubt give her if they were together in person. “You are so much a part of him, and that sense of justice and love and compassion is what made him from the moment he breathed life.”

She sobbed, the sound tearing from her lips. All that pent-up fear released. She had done well in raising him. They had worked together brilliantly for years, and Simon had become a wise young gentleman, someone who was enjoying life in ways Athena never had the ability to do.

“He’s your son, and that’s what matters.”

Athena had no idea what to say to him, where to even begin to take the next steps and share everything that had flitted through her brain in the last month. She needed Kevin like she needed water, but she needed Monti like she needed air.

“We’ll still be the way we always have been, right?” He sounded so timid now.

“Yes, of course!” She rushed to reassure him. “You’re my best friend. I love you.”

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