Page 90 of Shameless Expectations

“The work doesn’t stop.” Athena curled her hair around her ear and crossed her arms. “I still need to file some petitions, do some interviews, and get my files together.”

“I guess I just assumed when you said a vacation to rest that you actually meant no work.” Monti walked toward the kitchen. One more cup of coffee and maybe she could keep up with Athena. But the lack of sleep the last couple of days was starting to kick her butt. “I guess that does mean no sex, then. If you have to work, that is.”

Athena hummed, and she moved right into Monti, kissing her. “I don’t know about that.”

Monti ran her hands up and down Athena’s sides. “I’m sorry I scared you earlier.”

Athena pursed her lips before shaking her head slowly. “You did scare me.”

“I’m so sorry.” Monti smiled. “I’ll make it up to you later.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

twenty-eight

Monti had fallen asleep on the couch, her feet resting next to Athena’s thigh and the book she’d been reading flat against her chest. Athena trailed her fingers up and down Monti’s calf muscle, smiling at her gentle breathing. They’d been sitting there for a couple hours now, and it had become their routine.

Morning coffee and a walk on the beach, a little bit of work for Athena while Monti entertained herself, then they’d spend time in the afternoons reading in the quiet out on the deck. Athena had never been so relaxed in her life, so calm. Even with the intensity of the work that she was doing, the case she’d taken on, she’d managed to not be disturbed by it.

The only problem was that over the last few days, Monti had closed in on herself more and more. Athena started circle patterns with her thumb right under the inside of Monti’s knee. Monti twitched, her entire body jerking with a start, but she still seemed to be sleeping.

She’d been doing a lot of that. Athena had noticed it both at night and during the day. She kept up the pattern on Monti’s leg and settled back into her book, but the words were harder to focus on. What did her future mean? So much had changed in the last few weeks, and there was one thing Athena knew for certain. She didn’t want to go back to the way it had been.

What was the point of going back?

Except to change where she was.

Athena brushed her fingers over her lips, remembering the way Monti had pressed against her, the lightness it had created deep within her. She smiled. She’d never felt that with anyone else, and she’d never thought she would feel that with someone. She had thought she was too broken for love, at least love that was this deep. Because this wasn’t just love.

It was understanding.

Vulnerability.

Compassion.

Connection.

This was intimacy at its finest. And she knew Monti didn’t feel the same way. But for some reason, that didn’t matter. Athena wasn’t looking for reciprocation so much as she was looking for acceptance. She wanted to be believed, and Monti had done that every second of every breath. She’d never questioned Athena’s experiences. She’d never denied Athena her truth.

But where did that leave her? Because she hadn’t once thought to call or text Kevin. Simon’s birthday was in a couple days, so she’d need to call him, but that wasn’t for support. Kevin was the one she usually ran to for those kinds of things, but the entire time she’d been here all she needed was Monti. All she’d needed was to pause and remember that life was different now. That she could be at peace.

“What have you done to me?” Athena murmured, keeping up the pattern on Monti’s leg when she twitched again.

Athena rested her head against the back of the outdoor sofa and closed her eyes. The rays of sun warmed her skin. She enjoyed that feeling. She’d locked herself up for too long. It was finally time to come and play. Yes, play. Because Monti had shown her how to have fun this week, and it was something Athena didn’t want to live without again.

What kind of parent would she have been if she’d known how to play with Simon when he was little? What kind of adult would he have grown into? God, she hoped she hadn’t screwed him up too much. She’d tried to avoid all the mistakes of her parents and her past as best as she could, but there was no way to completely ignore them.

Monti jerked again, this time a little grunt at the end. Athena looked over at her, frowning. This seemed to be a little more than just restless sleep. But she wasn’t sure what to do about it. Simon had nightmares when he was a kid, but she’d mostly let Kevin handle those. Biting the inside of her cheek, Athena waited to see if Monti would do it again, but she didn’t.

Kevin was the perfect parent, and if she could help it, no one would ever know that Simon wasn’t his biologically. It wouldn’t matter in the long run. Because Kevin had been the perfect parent. He’d been more of a parent than she had. Athena sighed. What had she dragged him into?

Sure, he’d agreed to marry her, to play a role that wasn’t his, and to be there for her. They both got the protection of a marriage out of it. She could finish law school and start a career, and Kevin could find a lover who could truly love him. Athena dropped her foot to the ground, the ball of her foot rubbing against the sand on the deck.

But it wasn’t the early two-thousands anymore. They didn’t have to be married for that protection. Kevin could legally get married to his boyfriend, and Simon would still inherit everything. She couldn’t imagine Kevin ousting him, ever. They were two peas in a pod, which left her squarely where?

Monti jerked, this time her entire body tensing and voice crying out shrilly.

Okay. This wasn’t just sleep.

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