Page 56 of Shameless Expectations

Fallon sighed heavily and nodded toward her. “Hey.”

Monti sifted through Fallon’s mood, trying to figure out what she was missing. Something was wrong, but Fallon was often moody, especially when it came to something Monti didn’t understand. Something Fallon thought she should. But for the life of her, Monti couldn’t remember.

“Did I forget something?” Monti asked as delicately as possible. Lay the blame on herself for forgetting whatever it was and hopefully Fallon would forgive her all that much sooner.

“Of course you did.” Fallon’s voice was full of venom.

And it hurt. Monti tried to shove the sting off, but it was next to impossible. She wanted the fight. Anything that would distract her from thinking about Athena was just what she needed right then.

“Would you stop with the attitude and just tell me what I did this time?” Monti dropped the bag next to her and put her hands on her hips. Her voice was louder than it should be, but at the same time, she couldn’t bring herself to care.

“My attitude?” Fallon stood up, her hands flat on her desk as she leaned over it with narrowed eyes. “You don’t even have a clue what I’m mad about, do you?”

“Nope. Not one clue.” Monti huffed and rolled her eyes. “But you seem to fly off the handle at the littlest thing lately, so what do you expect? Me to be a mind reader? Sorry. No can do. I’m a trained psychologist, not the next Miss Cleo!”

Fallon scoffed. “You’re an idiot. Do you know that? You flit around this world like no one gives a shit about you. And then you have the audacity to be mad when we show that we care!”

“Yelling at me is caring?” Monti’s shoulders tightened. This was hitting too close to home. “What if I told you that I don’t want you to care. I don’t want you to even think about me!”

“You don’t believe that.” Fallon came around the corner of her desk.

Suddenly, Monti felt backed into a corner. She stayed put, but if Fallon were to get too close to her then she wouldn’t be able to control herself—not that she was doing a good job of it now anyway. “I do.”

“You don’t!” Fallon’s voice rose. “You can’t live without relationships, Monti. You would know that if you’d even pay one minute of attention to your family.”

Family.

Right.

That’s what this was always about. Fallon wanted Monti to be closer to the family, and Monti had exactly the relationship with everyone that she wanted. Never deeper than necessary. She should have known that Fallon would bring it back to this. They always hit this argument point whenever they were in the same city. Usually it was within a week. Monti had mistakenly thought they’d actually worked through some of the conflict by now and grown into civilized adults.

Apparently, she was wrong on both counts. They were both still idiots.

“You don’t need me, Fallon. You’ve always relied on me to be the center of your world, but give it up already.” Monti’s tone was low, dangerous. They were about to head straight into the territory that would send them both spiraling, and as much as Monti could see it happening, she didn’t want to stop it, either. She needed this fight.

“We all need you!” Fallon nearly screeched. “Why don’t you see yourself as part of our family?”

“Because I’m not.” Monti threw that out there in a way she’d never said before. “I’m not a part of the family.”

“Of course you are.”

“No. I’m really not.” Monti ran her fingers through her hair and sighed heavily. “You still consider them your parents. I don’t. I don’t remember them. I remember her, barely, but that’s really only from stories you and Tia have told me. They aren’t my parents. Tia is my mom.”

“Then why don’t you call her mom?”

Monti’s jaw dropped. She tried to find words to explain it all, but she couldn’t. They’d always just called their aunt Tia. Monti had asked once when she was in fourth grade if she could call Tia “mom” and she’d been shot down immediately. But she didn’t remember their mom. She didn’t believe their mom was in that coffin. She didn’t want to visit…

Fuck.

She’d missed the anniversary.

That was what had set Fallon off so much. Monti had completely spaced it, as she normally did, because again, it didn’t make a lick of difference in her life. They weren’t her family. Softening, Monti tried to come at this from a different direction. If she could just apologize for that—again because this certainly wasn’t the first time this had happened—then they could move on.

“I’m sorry I forgot.” It was the best Monti could do.

“How can you be so callous?” Fallon’s voice was barely above a whisper, but the venom was back.

“I’m not callous. Like I said before. They’re not my family. She’s not my mom.”

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