Page 46 of Shameless Expectations

“You’re crying,” Monti said, so matter-of-factly. “I wanted to be sure you were okay or if I’d done—”

Athena shook her head, reaching up and wiping her cheeks. She hadn’t realized she was crying. “No, it’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Just another release of those pesky emotions?” Monti’s lips pulled up to one side, quirking in hope.

“Or something like that,” Athena mumbled, clearing her cheeks again. “You can continue.”

“Are you sure?” Monti pressed her palm fully on Athena’s shoulder, her dark eyes boring directly into Athena’s.

“Yes,” Athena whispered. Whatever was happening to her, she knew she didn’t want to give this up.

“It’s not abnormal, you know.” Monti started back on Athena’s shoulders, working the muscles in her neck and then around to her collarbones.

“What’s not?” Athena asked, again breathy and unable to control it. This slow slide out of control was the only way she could possibly do this—whatever this was, because she wasn’t even sure yet. But even though she was losing control, something about it felt right.

And good.

“The release of emotions, the tears. We hold a lot of emotion and trauma in our bodies, and as we start to work through it, our physical reactions can be explosive and odd and almost random.” Monti leaned closer, her breasts directly over Athena’s face.

Athena gulped.

“Do you mind if I start on your chest now? I didn’t want to move there without asking.”

“Uh… sure.” Athena held her breath as she waited to see what Monti would do next. Instead of standing at the edge of the bed like she had before, Monti climbed onto the mattress, the weight of her body dipping Athena toward her.

“Sorry. It’s the only way I can really reach under your arm since I don’t have a table anymore.”

Athena’s heart raced, but not for the reason she’d thought it would. Monti was so close to her. This was far more intimate than it had been the other day in the library. This was the closeness that she had longed for, that she’d read about, that she’d seen with others all around her. And yet, Monti was only there because she was paid to be there, because Athena hired her for a job.

“You don’t mind, do you?”

“No,” Athena answered quickly.

Warmth seeped from Monti’s body into hers even though they weren’t touching. Athena held her breath until Monti was settled next to her, looking her over as if to check and ask if this was all right. Athena nodded before she could even ask.

“This is fine.”

“Okay.” Monti smiled, her lips curving fully this time. “I’m going to move your arm in some awkward ways, and I’m going to massage here—” she pointed to Athena’s side “—and here—” she made a circular motion right around the tops of Athena’s breasts and across her ribs. “I promise I won’t touch you anywhere else.”

“I understand.” Athena waited for the first touch, for the first caress of fingers against skin, for that moment when Monti would be right against her and those tingles would coil tightly between her legs again.

Because yes, this was arousal.

Athena knew that now.

And she needed to see if it would continue to grow or if this was a fluke.

Monti started slowly, checking multiple times about the amount of pressure she was applying and if it was too much or too little. Athena answered the questions succinctly. As the massage continued, her cheeks heated, her chest tightened deliciously as she tried to keep herself contained. Monti didn’t need to know what she was thinking about, or hell, what she was feeling.

“Do you know what you were releasing?” Monti asked, that same balm in her voice that Athena had come to know and love. “You don’t have to share if you don’t want to. I’m just asking if you know what it was.”

“Yes,” Athena said before she could stop herself. She’d always known what the problem was. Her life growing up had been benign. She’d had two parents, and while it wasn’t always the most loving environment and she knew what the expectations were, she never felt slighted by them.

Her job was to marry, have an heir, and keep the money in the family. It had always been that. And she’d done that, for the most part. She’d done exactly what they asked. Only she and Kevin knew the truth, and they’d sworn to never tell anyone.

“I was raped.” The words were gone before she could stop them.

Tears pricked her eyes, her nose burning again. Athena held it back, focusing on Monti’s fingers that didn’t even miss a touch. She blew out a breath and looked directly into Monti’s gaze.

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