Page 29 of Shameless Expectations

“I can do anything I want. And I’m not completely wasting my business degree now that Gwen and I are actually working together. Technically she owns the company, but I’m far more a partner than her personal assistant now.”

“That’s good. You seem happy, anyway.” Was that jealousy slipping into Monti’s voice?

“I am!” Zoe grinned broadly. “She proposed.”

“She?” Who exactly was Zoe talking about? Monti felt as though she had missed out on a large chunk of her friend’s life. But that was par for the course when she never stayed anywhere long enough to form deep connections.

But that was also the point.

She didn’t want those deep relationships because once she left—which she would—that person would be left with a wake of ripples from her departure. And that was something Monti didn’t want to happen. That was beyond what Monti could permit in terms of harm to others. She rolled her shoulders and eyed Zoe across the table again.

“Gwen.” Zoe laughed and then pushed her hand across the table, the diamond winking in the light from the bar as she showed off her new ring.

“Wow!” Monti took hold of Zoe’s hand and gazed at the ring like she was interested. It wasn’t that she was upset about Zoe doing exactly what she wanted. It was just that much more of a reminder for Monti that this wasn’t what she wanted.

Ever.

She couldn’t believe that these types of relationships were for the best. She’d seen too many of them fail in her lifetime. And fail spectacularly they did. Monti ran her hand through her hair. “Congratulations!”

“You’ll have to come to the wedding.”

“Sure. Just send me an invitation.” Monti would show up if Zoe wanted her to. But she would leave in much the same way she would this time and had the time before that: quietly, without taking a piece of Zoe with her. “I’m so happy for you.”

“It hasn’t been easy. But what’s a relationship without work?” Zoe grinned as she took another sip from her beer.

She was right about that. But Monti still wasn’t sure that it was something she’d want to put in effort for. Rubbing the back of her head, Monti moved to change the topic of conversation again. She needed to ease them away from the personal. She knew she was in the midst of that part of her life when everyone would be getting married and having babies, and that just wasn’t for her. She’d seen how much that could be torn apart firsthand.

She wouldn’t allow herself to relive that.

More importantly, she wouldn’t allow herself to be the cause of it either.

Perhaps Athena was the same way. She’d made comments about her odd relationship with her husband, yet they were still married. What exactly did that mean for them? Athena clearly still had her independence, and a lot of it. Maybe Athena had found her peace in that.

“Monti!” Zoe was laughing again. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this distracted before.”

Sighing heavily, Monti apologized. “I’m sorry. It’s…” She trailed off, not quite sure how to explain it. She wasn’t even sure she’d been able to put words to what she was feeling yet. But ever since she’d come back, she’d felt so unsettled. “Being home is harder than I thought it would be.”

“Oh, that’s right! You’re from here. I forgot that.”

“I am. Born and raised.” Monti lifted her beer in a sarcastic toast. Zoe didn’t lift her glass to clink, sensing the unease Monti had allowed into the conversation.

“So are you visiting family while you’re here?”

“I’ve met up with my sister several times. Do you remember Fallon?”

“Yeah. She’s a few years older than you, right?”

“Seven.” Monti’s shoulders tightened, and she had to purposely work to lower them back down to where they were supposed to be. Why was that a trigger for her tonight? It shouldn’t be at all. “My aunt still lives here too. We’re having dinner on Saturday.”

“That’ll be nice, I bet. I always love going home and visiting all my old haunts.”

Monti hummed her agreement even if she didn’t agree. In fact, she avoided most of her old haunts from high school. She didn’t want to run into anyone from her past if she could avoid them. They wouldn’t be of any use to her now.

“Well, I hope you have fun with them.”

“It’ll be a good visit, I’m sure.”

“So you’re leaving again?”

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