“Okay, let me make sure I have this right. Sam, you want to pretend not only that you’re her boyfriend but also the father of her baby to Abel and the bitch... But you actually do plan to be the daddy for this baby. And I’ll be the guncle? Is that what you’re saying?”

Sam pushes away his plate before leaning forward, resting his arms on the table as he shifts his gaze between us. He’s been growing out his hair, but it still doesn’t all fit in the bun on the top of his head, so strands of his dark hair have fallen down in his face.

“Yep, that’s exactly what I’m saying, baby,” Sam replies. I shift in my seat, my nerves on overdrive.

“And the actual father?” His eyebrow raises in question.

“Umm, that’s the tricky part. I don’t know who he is. Well, I, umm, it could be one of three men.” I stumble over my words as I pick nervously at my cuticle. The perfect manicure from my mother’s wedding has long grown out, and the paint chipped away, only tiny pieces remain.

“Okay, well, they could test them and then we’d know. You’re not the only person who slept with multiple men in a short window. Let me get my laptop and I’ll check on how early a paternity test can be done.” Jose starts to stand, but Sam takes hold of his arm, pushing him back down in his seat.

It would seem that Sam didn’t tell Jose everything about all the dirty business of my mother’s wedding.

“It’s not that easy. Turns out the potential baby daddies are my new step brothers and two of them are identical twins. So if it was one of them, it’d be impossible to know which one was the father.”

“Girl, you like to live dangerously,” he draws out, shaking his head as he laughs.

God, why can’t I be sitting in quicksand so it could pull me in, taking me away from the train wreck that is now my life? Why does all the weird shit have to happen to me? It’s what I get for throwing caution to the wind.

“It’s okay, Jose. It’s too much to ask of you and not fair, seeing how you and Sam are in a relationship. I told him it was a bad idea.” I bite on my lip, my face heating with embarrassment.

“Hold on now. Don’t go putting words in my mouth. First off, I’d be happy to be this baby’s guncle. If Sam wants to help you save some awkwardness with your family, then I’m okay with it. From what I’ve heard you and Sam say, I am well aware that your mother is a judgemental bitch. But I do think the baby’s father deserves the right to know. If it were me, I would want to know.”

“I couldn’t love you more, baby.” Sam takes hold of Jose’s face, turning it to face him, and kisses him. Their lips move gently against each other and fuck me if it isn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.

It feels like I’m intruding on their moment, but I can’t look away. These two fuckers should be doing porn. They’d make some serious money with how hot they look together.

“Umm, I’m going to go.” I scoot back in my chair to stand up, the only thing pulling them from their lip lock is the legs scraping along the floor.

“No, don’t go. We’re sorry,” Sam says breathlessly.

“It’s okay. I’m tired and have a full day of working on accounts tomorrow.”

“Fine, but I’m taking you home. We need to decide when to announce the news to your mother. You’re not going to be able to hide it for long. We also need to call and set up an OB appointment to make sure everything is good with Chicken Nugget.”

“Can we please stop calling my baby Chicken Nugget?” I glare at him with a stern look.

“Absolutely not. It’s my name for the little bambino. Come on, let's go.” He turns to Jose and I watch as his gaze intensifies. “I want you naked with your ass in the air when I get back.” He leans over and nips at Jose’s lip.

Fuck, I need to get laid.

My hormones are all over the place and I’m getting turned on by watching my best friend make out with his partner. How depraved am I?

Needing a break from the scene in front of me, I pick up my purse and keys off the counter and head for the front door. I’ll wait for Sam outside.

A few minutes later, he steps out the front door and makes his way over.

“Sorry about that. Whenever I’m around him, I can’t keep my hands to myself.”

“Don’t apologize. I’m envious of what the two of you have. And Sam, just so you know, you don’t have to go to my doctor appointments. All you’re doing is saving me some heartache with my mother. I don’t expect you to really act like the father in everyday life.”

“That’s nice of you to say, but you can forget about it. I told you I’m going to be this baby’s father and I mean it. Until you’re ready to let the real father know, you have me. When he steps up to the plate, I’ll slide into the guncle role. Until then, it’s me and you, babe.”

“I love you, Sam.” He opens the passenger door for me, and I slide inside.

“I love you too, bitch.”

We spend the ride home holding hands and it’s all I need. That one act fills me with the strength to get through this.