Me: Mom, don’t you think you’re overreacting just a little bit?

Mom: No, I don’t! Just look at you now. I’m turning my phone off. See you tomorrow, Selena. Hopefully, this bitchy attitude of yours will not make a presence.

Could she be any more dramatic? Standing up, I head over to the minibar, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. Why, thank you, Mom. Opening the bottle, I lift it to my lips and take a long swallow of the bitter brown liquid.

Good, now I can get drunk tonight, have a hangover tomorrow, so I won’t care what she says, then come back to my room and crash for the rest of the day. Opening the minibar, I pull out two more bottles, and make my way back over to the bed, kicking off my shoes and sitting down, resting my back against the headrest and picking my phone up.

Sam: Are you in jail? Did she finally make you crack? Do I need to sell my body to raise money for bail and an attorney?

I laugh so hard, I choke on the liquid in my mouth. It flies out as I start coughing.

Me: I’m alive, not in jail, but very much headed toward being drunk.

Me: Apparently I was rude and embarrassing today, even though she took every opportunity to fat shame me. So no rehearsal tonight. Now me and the minibar are getting to know each other on a very intimate level.

Sam: Seriously, you fat? Not to be rude, Selly, but is your mom on some kind of drug? You have a body other women would kill for. Men would die to be with, well, all men but me. Sorry baby, it’s all about the sausage for me, tacos make me want to hurl.

Me: And that’s why I love you. Want to come out here and save me?

Sam: NO!

Me: Fine, be that way! I was going to tell you all about the hot guy from the club who hunted me down here and we just fucked in the hallway of the resort, not to mention the guy I met on the plane who inducted me into the mile high club.

Sam: Yes. You slut. I love you, baby… Shit. Jose is here. I have to go. I’m about to get my own world rocked. Promise me when you get home, we have a bestie night complete with pizza and alcohol.

Me: Promise.

One thing is for sure, I lucked out in the best friend department. And at the moment I’m lucking out in the alcohol department too.

Elias

“Zeke just messaged, said he’s on his way here from the airport,” I call out to Jay, who’s in the bathroom, primping, hell-bent on finding his girl from earlier. Shit, I can’t even make fun of him. I want to find Veronica. I know it isn’t her real name, but with nothing else to call her, it’s all I have.

Jay pokes his head out of the bathroom, removing the toothbrush from his mouth. “Fuck yeah, he gonna go out with us?”

“I imagine so. Fuck man, just got a message from Dad. Let me see what he says.”

Could the rehearsal be back on now? That will really throw a wrench in Jay’s plans for the night.

Dad: I want you and your brothers to message your new sister and take her to dinner. Get to know her and perhaps persuade her to be nicer to her mother tomorrow. It would make your old man happy.

Ughh! I groan.

“What is it, Eli?” Jay calls from the bathroom.

“Seems Dad wants us to play nice with the new sister and take her out to eat.” He comes out of the bathroom, a scowl on his face as he buttons up his shirt. “No way, man. I want to find my girl, not babysit.”

Me: Dad. Come on, don't make us. We haven’t even met her, know what her name is, or even have her number.

Dad: You will do this because I asked you. Selena is going to be your sister, and you need to get to know her. Here is her number 555-647-9555. Now I expect you and your brothers to do it.

Me: Fine.

Dad: Also meet me in the wedding hall at 9:30 am. The wedding planner will be going over how the ceremony will go before she goes and meets with Julia and Selena.

“Jay, apparently we have to do it. Make Dad happy. I’m going to message her. Let’s get it over with, then we can dump her and head out and find our ladies, and tMe: Hey this is Eli, your soon-to-be stepbrother. Dad messaged and wants me and my brothers to take you out to eat. Get ready and we can meet you in the lobby. hen find one for Zeke.”

Needing to get this done, I open a new message and type her number in.