Page 45 of Finding Gwen

A gun pressed into the back of my head. “Get up,” Matt spat.

Fucking damn it. Rage snapped through me like a bolt of lightning. I scanned for something, anything, that I could use to fight. Spotting Anthony’s disposed gun only a few feet away, the metal nearly unnoticeable in the dim lighting, I knew if I could just get to it…

I made to stand up, but lunged to the side instead. Matt stumbled, unable to recover fast enough. Scooping up the gun, I switched off the safety and aimed it at Matt. The little color left in his face drained as he stared down the barrel of the gun.

Without hesitation, I pulled the trigger. He hit the floor, the thump of his head bouncing off the concrete reassurance enough that he wouldn’t be getting back up. Desperate to get back to Anthony, I dropped the gun, and it clattered to the floor as I rushed to his side. His eyes were shut and his breathing was shallow. I cradled his face in my hands, smearing his face with red streaks.

“Anthony! Anthony, open your eyes. Open your eyes, Anthony!” My voice was shaky. I couldn’t lose him. He was the only man who had made me feel truly safe. I needed him. Oliver needed him. “Anthony, please. Don’t leave me. I love you.”

Chapter Thirty

Anthony

Don’t leave me… I love you…

Gwen’s voice rang in my ears. I wanted to reassure her everything would be okay, but my eyes refused to open. It felt like a hot branding rod was being pressed against my shoulder as she kept her weight on it. Her quiet sobs as she did so wrecked me. She needed to know how I felt. I would never willingly leave her.

Suddenly, her body left mine, followed by several hands working to get off my shirt. Jason’s voice filled my ears next. “Shh, Gwen. He’ll be okay. You need to let them check on you, too.” I had forgotten she was hurt. Just before I had closed my eyes, I saw her with my gun in her hands. Pure fury crossed her face while blood dripped onto the floor where she was standing. Her wrists were red and raw from the rope, but luce mia was determined. She wasn’t backing down this time.

The slow beeping of my heart filled the room as I was lifted, presumably onto a gurney. The darkness was beckoning me and I wanted to welcome it with open arms. Just before it took me under, Jason’s harsh voice pierced through the fog. “Gwen, are you okay? Shit. Medics!”

Fingertips brushed against my cheek, rousing my subconscious. “I need you to wake up, Anthony. This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Gwen whispered.

Her fingers weaved through mine, lifting my hand and resting it against her face. The wet skin against mine told me she had been crying. “Oliver needs his dad. That little boy can’t lose you. I don’t know what to tell him if you don’t come home.”

Tears fell onto my hand as she continued, her voice breaking. “I need you, too. Please, Anthony. I tried so hard not to fall for you, but no one has ever made me feel the way you do. I thought you were going to be this distant asshole of a man, but you welcomed me into your home with open arms. You always made sure to stop and listen. You bought me daisies. No one has ever bought me daisies. You took care of me during a time that any other man would have run. If it weren’t for you, I don’t know where I would be. You taught me what it meant to feel cherished and supported.” She paused, tears falling onto my hand.

“If you wake up right now, I promise to never complain about another dirty dish you leave in the sink. Please, Anthony. My heart can’t take losing you.” I willed my fingers to move, to let her know I was listening. They brushed against her hair.

“Anthony?” she gasped.

I forced my eyes to open, blinking as the bright fluorescent lights blinded me. When everything finally came into focus, her ocean blue eyes were the first thing I saw. I would happily drown in them every day if she let me.

“That seems like a very roundabout way of saying you love me, luce mia.” My voice was harsh, my throat raw.

“Oh my gosh, Anthony!” Gwen lunged for me, her body shaking from the sobs. I embraced her, wrapping my good arm around her.

“I’m holding you to that dirty dishes promise,” I whispered, lifting my head to kiss the top of her hair. She chuckled, and it was music to my ears. I pulled her in closer, not wanting to be separated a second more, but winced as pain shot through my shoulder.

Gwen pulled away, hovering her hands over my chest. I noticed the bandages wrapped around her wrists. “Shit, I forgot. How bad is the pain?”

“Not too bad.” I took in a deep breath through my nose, trying to hide just how badly it hurt. The lightning pain dulled slightly, turning into a more localized throbbing that I could handle. I took one of Gwen’s hands in mine and flipped it over to examine the bandage on her wrist. “How are you?”

“Anthony, I’m fine,” she said softly, taking my hand in hers and kissing my knuckles. The motion relaxed me, sending a signal to my brain to chill the fuck out. “There were a few abrasions on my wrists from the rope. I had a graze on my thigh from when I tried to run from Matt. I fell and hit my head, so I had a minor concussion. Then, when they started wheeling you out of the warehouse, all the adrenaline left my body and I passed out. Jason caught me, though, and I woke up before we got to the hospital.” She ran her thumb over my knuckles and I made a mental note that I owed my partner a case of beer.

“I was more worried about you,” she continued. “You were in surgery for way too long. The bullet hit an artery, and you lost a lot of blood. I mean, the doctor said you would be fine, but what if you weren’t? I was serious, Anthony. I can’t lose you.”

“I don’t plan on going anywhere. But we need to talk about what Matt meant.” Gwen tried to say something, but I cut her off. “Please, let me get this out.” Her lips pressed into a thin line as she forced herself to stay quiet.

“I’m not a good guy, Gwen. There’s a part of me that enjoys hurting people, the part that was forced to watch my parents die.” Gwen stifled a gasp behind her hand and I paused, debating if this was too much. She needed to know. “My father was involved with organized crime in Italy. He wanted out, though, to give me a better life. So they moved here and started over. But the syndicate found us. They forced me to watch while they assaulted my mother and tortured my father.

“Because of that night, I do bad things to bad people who deserve to no longer walk among the living.” I forced myself to keep going, to get everything out into the open. Gwen showed no sign that she needed me to stop. “I don’t hurt just anyone. For the most part, they’re the husbands and significant others of the individuals we have interviewed who are too scared to press charges or their abusers who have too much power and won’t end up facing their punishment.” Gwen was motionless, simply sitting beside me.

“That fucker who drugged you at the bar? I chopped off each of his fingers for touching you, then shoved my knife through his dick. If you hadn’t stopped me, I would have beat Matt until the life drained from his eyes. He doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as you, let alone walk on the same ground. I warned him what would happen if he missed.”

Gwen lunged forward, wrapping her arms around my neck and claiming my lips with hers. Placing my hand on her cheek, I urged her backwards. “I need to know you’re okay with this. This is who I am. I can’t change that.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Anthony,” Gwen ran her fingers through my hair as she spoke. “I love you.”

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