Page 35 of Finding Gwen

I rushed forward, wrapping her in my arms and pressing my face into her hair. My racing heart started to slow when she rested her hands on my back and pressed her cheek against my chest. I breathed in deeply, emotion catching on the exhale that Gwen noticed.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” she whispered, rubbing my back in long strokes in an attempt to comfort me. I didn’t answer right away, not knowing what to say, and she didn’t push. We stood there in comfortable silence until I loosened my grip on her. She lifted her head, looking up at me through hooded eyes, and I was gone.

Cupping her cheeks, I kissed her, wanting to convey with actions where words failed me. I wanted her to know how much she meant to me and how scared I was of losing her. Her hands covered mine as I claimed her mouth, our tongues dancing together as she melted into me. I swallowed every moan that threatened to escape from her lips. I needed to stop before things went too far. It wasn’t that I didn’t want a repeat of last night, because I definitely did. It was just that her body needed to rest. Plus, there was still that fact that my son was with my neighbor.

I broke our kiss, pressing my forehead to hers and catching my breath.

“I’m sorry if I worried you. I didn’t want to interrupt you and I really needed the bathroom,” she said, her fingers gently wrapping around my wrists with her thumbs resting on top of my hands. The touch centered me.

“Don’t apologize. I’m just on edge,” I admitted, a thousand scenarios having run through my mind of what could have happened to her.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she voiced, reading my mind. I continued to hold her, wanting to burn this moment into my memory.

I finally pulled away and my hands dropped to hold hers. “Oliver has been asking about us. What do you think about ordering pizza and having a movie night?”

“I would love that. Is it okay if I shower?” she asked.

“Of course.”

“I’m going to go down to my room to get fresh clothes. Give me maybe an hour?”

“Take your time. I will get the food ordered, then go get Oliver.”

I leaned down once more, kissing her gently this time. When I was done, I stepped back and released her hands. I reluctantly watched as Gwen went downstairs. She had been through a lot recently and while I knew I would feel more comfortable having her beside me at all hours of the day, that wouldn’t be possible. She needed space. We would figure out how to make this work and it would start with finding the asshole who did this.

Pulling out my phone, I texted Katie that I would be over to get Oliver in thirty minutes. I walked back into my room, ordering dinner and getting set up for a night with my two favorite people.

“Here you go, man,” Jason offered, stepping up behind me and setting a mug on my desk in front of me. “Also, Steve from I.T. wanted me to give this to you.” He pulled a small box out of his pocket and held it out to me. I took it from his open hand, opening it to check out the contents. After the attack, not only had I made sure I could track Gwen via her phone, but I asked Steve if he could come up with something that I could give her that would be inconspicuous enough that no one would know it was a tracker. He designed a bracelet that could double as a panic button and would alert me directly. The plan was to catch the fucker who hurt her so Gwen wouldn’t need it, but that hadn’t happened.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, I leaned back in my chair, slipping the box into my pocket, then covered my face with my hands. Hopefully, Gwen would accept the gift. She had been upset with me on more than one occasion over the last few weeks. I had found it impossible to keep my hands to myself when I was around her, but refused to push my luck any further. We never talked about what that night had meant. Honestly, I had never brought it up in fear she would express a level of regret. It was a childish thought–I knew this–but it didn’t change the fact that I would never be good enough for Gwen.

So, I threw myself into this case. Jason and I were certain the person who attacked Gwen was the same asshole who had assaulted all the other women. It had been days of me pouring over the most current files, to the point that words started blurring together. There was no new information or leads. All the interviews we had re-conducted were dead ends. By all accounts, the asshole had gone into hiding after that night. While I was glad no other woman had been attacked, what didn’t sit right with me was that he had stopped all of a sudden.

Jason was still talking, going on about updating things at the warehouse because of security concerns, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about any of that right now. I needed to figure out what the hell was going on and why we couldn’t find this fucker. And why it seemed Gwen had been the catalyst to him disappearing.

“Earth to Tony,” Jason broke through the mental haze, his eyebrows raised in a quizzical look.

“It’s been weeks. We have nothing.” The anger was building, my fists clenching on top of my desk. “We need to find him. Now.”

“Anthony, we will.” Jason put a hand on my shoulder and the action caused me to jump. My arm swung wide, bumping into the full cup of coffee and spilling the liquid over the files scattered on my desk.

“Shit!” I exclaimed as I tried to keep some of the papers from being soaked. The coffee started dripping over the edge of the desk, a small puddle forming on the floor. I stared at the liquid as the anger bubbled over. I picked up the offending mug and threw it on the ground, the shattering pieces adding to the storm that was brewing inside me. I needed more.

We had been too preoccupied with the case to put time and energy into teaching lessons to any other dirtbags. I wanted to feel bones crunching under my fists and their blood on my knuckles. Rage clouded my mind. I needed a release. Blindly swinging, my fist made contact with the first thing it could.

“Fucking damn it!” Jason exclaimed, having been caught severely off guard when I made contact with his jaw.

Pain radiated through my hand and wrist. Apparently, punching Jason was becoming a thing. Closing my eyes and focusing on the pain, I hung my head and tried to center myself. I took deep breaths, imagining Gwen’s warm skin under my hands and her soft lips against mine. She would always be my guiding light.

“Tony…” Jason started, but was quickly cut off by a booming voice that echoed throughout the station.

“Marino, Kreugler, my office. NOW!” Captain was standing at the top of the walkway outside his office, his face pinched in anger as he turned and walked away. Jason and I exchanged a knowing look.

Shit.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Gwen

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