Page 22 of Finding Gwen

“I understand,” I whispered, tearing my gaze from his, staring down at my hands. This was his job and being called out at the most inconvenient time to handle cases was a part of it. What was not a part of his job was comforting me, even if we were in a gray area with our professional relationship.

“Gwendalyn,” Anthony cleared his throat, but I refused to look up at him. I would no longer be able to hold back the tears if I did. Thankfully, he didn’t push a response, and I listened to his footsteps as he left the room, the front door closing harshly behind him.

The loss of his body next to mine left me feeling abandoned. I was struggling to hold back the tears that burned the back of my eyes. As the loneliness set in my body, I knew it was time for bed. Sighing, I stood up, my eyes sweeping the room when they landed on a bouquet of daisies I hadn’t noticed until now.

The tears silently fell as I picked them up. My heart pounded in my chest thinking about Anthony buying me these flowers, my favorite flowers. Not taking my eyes off the petals, I grabbed my forgotten mug off the end table, walking to the kitchen to dump out the now cold contents.

The irony of Anthony doing exactly what Matthew used to do was not lost on me. There was a part of me that wanted to throw away the bouquet. Instead, I pulled the vase from under the sink, placing the daisies in it, then set it on the kitchen island. Anthony was different. He didn’t come home with empty promises and flowers that I was allergic to. The daisies were a little reminder that even if he couldn’t say the words, Anthony cared.

I floated down to my room, wiping my face as I sat on my bed and deciding to see if Ivy was still awake. She always knew exactly what to say. I missed her like crazy, and I wanted to tell her about everything. There had been so much that happened today.

I had left my phone off and in my room this morning to avoid the distraction through the day. Clicking on her contact, she answered quickly, switching over to a video call before I could even greet her. As it opened, I could tell she had her phone propped up on the kitchen counter as the screen showed a view of cooking at her stove. She didn’t look at the screen right away, her eyes glued to whatever she was making.

“Hey babe! How was the little man’s party?” She glanced at the screen and her face lit up with a smile.

“The party was so much fun. Ollie crashed hard tonight,” I laughed, thinking about how he had barely kept his eyes open through bath time. He was curled up with his stuffed bear and snoring before I had even shut the door. “How’s everything going there?”

“Oh, you know,” she said, waving around the spoon in her hand when she replied. “Same old, same old. Nothing new or exciting happening here. How about you?”

“Well, Anthony may have kissed me?” I whispered.

“I’m sorry, what?” Ivy’s screech echoed through the phone. She dropped the utensil and snatched up her phone, holding it in front of her face. “I need details, babe!”

“I don’t know where to start…”

“Um, at the beginning? Duh!”

“His non-invited ex-wife showed up to the party,” I started, “and Anthony was livid. It caused a whole scene. His partner dragged the ex-wife out before things went too far south, but Anthony wasn’t okay. There was just something in his eyes I can’t explain. But then he kissed me, and it was like I could feel it draining out of him. I mean, that kiss was…” My voice softened, disappearing entirely as I recalled the way my body lit up when his teeth sank into my lip. The emotional high I felt was addictive. I had been surprised by my body’s reaction, but Anthony must have taken it as a rejection from me. The remorse in his eyes when he pulled away shattered me.

“Gwen?” Ivy pulled me from my thoughts. I ran my finger along my bottom lip.

“He didn’t stick around. He ended up leaving before the party ended and his partner went with him. I’m not sure where, but when he came home a bit ago, he had a wrapped hand and a bouquet of daisies. We sat on the couch and he told me what had happened with his ex-wife. It felt like there had been more he wanted to tell me, but then he got called into work.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m so confused, Ivy,” I sighed. “This man is infuriating most times and when he’s not, my mind can’t stop picturing the things he’d do with that mouth. But what if I’m not good enough? What if history repeats itself and I end right back at square one?”

“Bullshit. That man lives for you,” Ivy said. I scuffed, but she continued. “Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Or I will hop on the first flight to you and force you two to have a conversation.”

“Fine,” I muttered, curling up on my bed. I faced my nightstand, propping my phone up against the lamp.

Ivy’s features softened, giving me a second to settle before she talked again. “Everything will be okay. Even if it doesn’t seem like it now. Do you want me to stay on until you fall asleep? I need to finish making my late-night snack.” All I could do was nod my head as I grabbed a pillow to hold against my chest and pulled my bedding over me.

Ivy sat her phone down and went back to cooking. I watched her moving around her kitchen and my eyelids started getting heavy. Letting them fall, I hoped that when I woke up in the morning, everything would have magically fixed itself.

Chapter Fifteen

Anthony

“Here you go, man.” Jason offered me a mug of black coffee courtesy of the ancient coffee pot from the break room. It produced the worst tasting coffee known to man, but, at this point, all I cared about was the caffeine content. I took the mug from him, chugging nearly half of the scalding liquid before sitting it down. After we had met at the hospital and found the survivor was not awake, we gathered what we needed from the staff to start our report before heading to the station. It was the middle of the night, so most of the other detectives were home. There were a few unlucky ones like us who were still here, flipping through case files and trying to find leads.

“Whoever this guy is, he’s escalating.” Jason sat his own mug down on his desk across from me before lowering himself into his chair.

I grunted a response, ignoring his eyes on me as I flipped through the case file in front of me. We needed to catch this guy. This case constantly pulled me away from Oliver and Gwendalyn. If I was ever going to man up and tell her how I felt, I needed to be present. I promised her we would deal with that together, but so far, she had been handling everything alone. At the very least, she deserved a night off.

“Shit Tony, did she reject you?” he asked. That caught my attention, my head snapping up to glare at him from across our desks. Jason didn’t back off, though. Instead, he continued to look at me with a smirk on his face as he leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head. Jason was a cocky asshole when he wanted to be.

“For your information, we were in the middle of talking when I got the call. The only thing I was able to tell her about was Kimberly,” I said with annoyance.

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