Page 20 of Finding Gwen

Anthony

Seeing Kimberly standing in my backyard, holding Oliver in her arms, made oscurità mia shake the bars of its prison in my mind. Even after I knew he was safely in Gwendalyn’s arms, I still had to hold it back, trying to get Kimberly to leave of her own accord to make less of a scene. I had felt the shift in the air when all of my coworkers had readied themselves to jump in if needed. But when she slapped me, I was frozen in place. At that moment, oscurità mia had broken out of its cage and there was only one way to put it back. I had to give it the one thing it craved more than anything–violence.

Jason must have seen it because he quickly dragged Kimberly away. I hadn’t moved, unable to in fear that doing so would release my darkness in a way I would regret. Jason stepped in front of me, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me to look at him.

“They’re watching,” Jason murmured. We were surrounded by people, but he wasn’t talking about the party. Turning, I saw Gwendalyn holding Oliver, his head buried in her neck.

Without thinking, I strode up to her, grabbing her face in my hands and pulling her to me. I claimed her lips roughly, and she opened up to me without complaint. Her taste was even more perfect than I had remembered. Passion coursed through my veins, my body demanding more. My teeth caught her bottom lip, biting until I tasted copper, not caring that I was pushing Gwendalyn, testing her limits.

Until she cried out softly and I pulled away. Fuck, I had hurt her. This was too much. I needed to leave. Turning on my heel, I marched out of my own backyard, the crowd parting as I went and I avoided the looks. Whispers found my ears, but I couldn’t tell if those were real or in my head.

Within seconds, I found myself settled in my truck, keys in hand. My attention was drawn to the opening passenger door, watching as Jason climbed inside. I started it, pulling out of the driveway and heading toward the one place I could set oscurità mia loose.

“Is there someone I can punch?” I asked Jason, no further explanation needed.

“Yeah.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him doing something on his phone. Any other time, I would be curious. At that moment, my mind was filled with thoughts of blood and pain demanding a release.

When we got there, I was blinded with rage as I walked inside the building. My body was on auto-pilot as I walked through the halls to the room where we usually conducted our business. Turning through the doorway, I found a man tied to a chair with a rag shoved into his mouth. I made eye contact with the asshole, walking up to him and yanking the rag from his mouth. Before he could say anything, I landed a right hook to his jaw. His head flew to the side, blood instantly dripping from his lip.

Not wanting to give him any time to recover, I balled his shirt in my left hand and slammed my fist into his ribs over and over until the sound of them cracking had oscurità mia smiling. My vision tunneled as I continued landing punches, alternating between his ribs and face, as I finally let the darkness take over. I felt the blood hitting my face and sweat running down my back, but it didn’t matter. My focus never left the fucker in front of me. He deserved this. My knuckles started splitting, my own blood starting to mix with the fuckers in front of me as time slowed down and he became my own personal punching bag.

“Tony.” I barely heard my name over the buzzing in my ears. I ignored it, continuing my assault, and landed a punch so hard to the middle of the guy’s chest that the chair tipped backwards, falling with a thud on the concrete. Preparing to straddle him and continue, I was caught off guard when a hand on the back of my shirt yanked me backwards. The adrenaline was still coursing through me and my fist took a swing at the body in front of me, indifferent to who it was. I was no longer in control of my own actions like a bull loose in a china shop, simply thriving off the chaos around me.

When my punch didn’t land, I charged, my body refusing to stop. But I was caught off guard when an arm wrapped around my neck. My chest was heaving from the effort it took to take in air and every hair on my body was standing on its end. My fingers clawed at his skin.

Slowly, the darkness that had taken charge retreated back into the recesses of my mind, the fog lifting as I stopped struggling. Letting one of my hands fall, I slapped Jason’s thigh twice. He released me and I stumbled forward, coughing and taking large breaths as my vision cleared.

My eyes followed Jason as he walked over to the asshole in the chair, checking to make sure he was still alive before kicking the chair so it and its occupant were on their side. I stepped backwards until I found myself hitting a wall. My legs unable to support me anymore without the adrenaline coursing through my veins, I sank to the floor. Leaning forward, my forehead rested against my knees while my bruised hands sat on top of my head.

“You know you’re going to have to explain to a lot of people what that kiss was about,” Jason said. I lifted my head, just enough to find Jason sitting next to me on the ground, his head resting back on the wall with his eyes closed.

“Shit,” I mumbled. Standing up, I paced the length of the room, running my hands through my hair in an attempt to keep them occupied and not throwing punches. The fact we had been standing in the middle of a crowd evaded me when I decided the best course of action would be to kiss Gwendalyn.

“It’ll be okay, man. Gwen will understand, especially knowing that Kim is a crazy b…” Stopping in front of him, I looked down and he trailed off, my biggest mistake coming to light. A flicker of recognition crossed his face, and he voiced what I was unable to say. “She doesn’t know, does she?”

I shook my head. The topic of Oliver’s mom never came up. I had given Carol minimal details when I hired her to find a nanny and it was my assumption she had passed those details on. What was Gwendalyn thinking right now? Oliver had to be upset that I left, right? Rage found its way to the surface again and my fist made contact with the wall before I registered what I had done. Pain shot through my hand, my already bruised knuckles immediately swelling. “Fuck!” I shook it, as if the action would magically cure the bones that I knew were now broken.

“Come on,” Jason sighed. “I’ll drive you to the ER and then home. My bike is still at your place, anyway.” He stood up, reaching out his hand toward me. Digging into my pocket with my non-injured hand, I fished out my keys and handed them to him. Jason then walked out of the room and I trailed behind him, my mind flipping through potential stories for the doctor.

On the drive there, Jason broke the silence. “You like her. It’s time you admitted it.”

There was no use denying the feelings anymore. When I held Gwendalyn in my arms after warding Jason away, something inside me had snapped into place. The way her body felt against mine was nothing short of perfection. “When the divorce was finalized, I thought it would be Oliver and me forever, him and I against the world. Then Gwendalyn showed up, bringing so much love for Oliver and I wanted that for him. Someone to show him how a mother is supposed to love their child.” Jason stayed quiet through my confession, giving me the opportunity to get everything off my chest.

“I was determined not to let my heart fall for another woman again. But damn it, Gwendalyn’s filled this void inside of me. What if my darkness becomes too much, though? What if I hurt her? That asshole of an ex has already done enough damage. I refuse to do any more.” As I finished, Jason pulled into the parking lot of the ER.

Turning off the truck, he paused before turning his head toward me. “You don’t get to take the choice away from her because you’re the one who’s scared. Tell her, then let her decide.”

“Oliver can’t lose her, Jason. I can’t lose her.” I lowered my head, nearly accepting defeat.

“Trust me, you won’t lose her by telling her what she needs to know. You’ll lose her by pushing her away and not trusting her to do what’s best for her,” Jason said. I let his words sink in. Of course, he was right. Gwendalyn needed to make the choice, and I needed to let her. “Now, let’s go get your hand looked at so you can go get your woman.” He smirked at me, knowing that I couldn’t punch him for his comment.

As we walked inside the all too familiar building, a thousand thoughts ran through my head. Each one of them connected to Gwendalyn and how she may react. I had to make peace with the fact that I may lose her after today, but I sure as hell hoped I wouldn’t.

Chapter Fourteen

Gwen

Pulling a mug from the cabinet, I sat it on the counter while I waited for the kettle to boil. Anthony wasn’t home yet and my nerves were getting to me. I wanted to finally get some sleep, but at the same time, I was wound too tight. Oliver had gone to bed a few hours ago, the excitement from the day finally catching up to him. After cake and ice cream, Katie had helped organize presents as I sat with Oliver and helped him open them.

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