Page 38 of The Unwanted Wife

He’ll marry me, consolidate his position as CEO with his grandfather, then likely, divorce me. He’ll find someone who's a svelte, five-foot ten-inch, icy blonde with long legs and a figure so flat, you can see the light pass through her. Everything he’s told me so far about how much he loves my figure is a lie. If he actually liked how I look, he’d have slept with me last night.

I saved my virginity for him, but maybe he doesn’t want it. Maybe he doesn’t find me alluring enough. I am a plus-size, after all. Maybe he’s put off by the thought of having sex with someone as big as me? I hunch my shoulders.

The marriage between us isn’t real. The chemistry between the two of you is real, though. It has been from the first moment you met. So is the connection you’ve felt with him. Too bad he doesn’t want to acknowledge it.

Worse, when he gives in to the temptation, he regrets it.

Once we get married, I’m sure he’ll want me to move in with him, and then I’ll never be able to resist the urge to sleep with him. I’d probably throw myself down on the bed and beg him to take my virginity… And chances are, he’ll refuse. Ugh!

And if, for some reason, he wants me enough to consummate the marriage? Then, along with having feelings for him, he’ll also be the first man I sleep with. That’s something I’ll never recover from.

I’ll never be able to put him behind me and move on. I’ll be forever stuck in a limbo where my emotions are connected with him. He’ll become my sun, moon and stars, and I… will be nothing but dust to him. No, I can’t let that happen. I have enough pride to not give up everything I am to him. I will hold onto something for myself. Something I will not let him have access to. Something I choose to give to someone other than him—my virginity. It’s what gave me the courage to come here today, and?—

"Skylar, have you thought this through? What if you regret it later?" Zoey’s voice interrupts me.

"I won’t. I have thought this through. This is what I want to do." I set my jaw.

She scans my features, and her own soften. "I know how independent you are. And I can’t claim to understand why you want to go through with this, but I want to make sure you don’t hurt yourself in the process."

He already hurt me; not that she’s aware of it, of course. But then, I also haven’t told my friends about Hugo. Another secret I’ve kept from them. I realize, it’s unusual to support someone who’s not even blood family when I can barely support myself. But it’s my choice, and I don’t want to have to explain it to anyone else.

The only person who knows about him is Ben. And my brother supports me. He even wanted to share in the cost for Hugo’s treatment, but I refused to let him. It was my choice to help Hugo, which doesn’t mean Ben has to pay for his treatment, too. I could do with Ben’s emotional support right about now, though.

My phone buzzes with an incoming call; the caller ID says 'unknown,' which normally means it’s Ben calling me from whichever location he’s been posted to.

"Uh, Zoey, I have to go."

She stiffens. "If I don’t hear from you in an hour, I’m coming over there."

"You’re a good friend, Z." I blow her a kiss.

"I’m not joking, Sky."

"I don’t doubt you. Gotta go." I disconnect her call and answer Ben’s. "Hey big bro, how're you doing?"

"Little sis, you sound like you’re up to something you shouldn’t be doing." Ben’s voice is so clear, he might as well be in the same room as me. Which is a change from the static that normally crackles across the telephone lines when he speaks to me from whichever corner of the world he's in. You'd think the Marines would provide clear lines of communication for their men who are putting their lives on the line for our safety but apparently not.

"I’m exactly where I should be," I manage to say around the ball of emotion in my throat. And no, it’s not because I’m lying to him, either. I miss my brother, is all. I miss having someone to talk to, someone I can go to for advice, though probably not in this instance. I don’t think he’ll be very happy when he finds out I’m married to his best friend, and without telling him. But it’s for the best. I don’t want to distract him during his mission. The last thing he needs is to find out about matters of my heart. Compared to the challenges he’s facing, what I’m going through is nothing. "How are you doing, wherever it is you are?"

"I’m doing well, honey. I’m just a little tired from being out here and away from all of you."

"You’re missing her," my instincts prompt me to say.

There’s silence, then he sighs. "I am. I didn't think I would. I thought when I left, I’d be able to get back into the groove of things. That I’d pick up where I left off, when it came to leading my team on a mission?—"

"But it’s not the same anymore."

"It’s not," he agrees.

"And it wouldn’t be. After all, you're in love."

He laughs. "When did you get so wise. Wait—" He hesitates. "Is it because you’re in love? Is that why you sound so mature?"

"Hey, I’ve always sounded older than my years."

He chuckles. "You were born an old soul. It’s why I've often felt like I'm talking to one of my peers when I speak with you. No matter, you're so tiny."

"I’m not tiny," I protest.

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