Page 36 of Forever, Finally

“The whole thing was a mistake,” Rachel continued. “I was uncomfortable, it all felt wrong. The next morning the only thing I wanted to do was take it all back. That’s why I never said anything. I was old enough to know better and still I screwed up.”

“You’re not the only one who made mistakes,” Lily said. “At least you figured out he was a jerk from one night. I showed up to marry the guy.”

“You didn’t know what he was like.”

“Shouldn’t I have sensed something?”

Rachel shook her head. “I don’t know. He was probably different with you. The thing is, when I saw him again, this time with you, I didn’t know what to do. You were already engaged. What was I going to say? ‘Hi. You remember me. We slept together a couple of months ago while you were dating my best friend?’”

Lily hadn’t really thought about it from her perspective. “You were trapped. If you told me the truth, I might not have believed you. Even if I did, you weren’t going to come out as the good guy in all this.”

“Exactly. But I never wanted you hurt.”

“I know.”

The waiter came and they asked for tea. When he asked if they were ready to order, they glanced at each other and laughed.

“The usual?” Lily asked.

“Absolutely.” Rachel listed the dishes they wanted.

When the man had left, Lily smoothed the white tablecloth. “It’s too much food for just the two of us.”

“Good point. I guess we’ll have to take some home with us.”

“I’m sorry I took so long to call,” Lily said. “I was afraid you didn’t want to be friends anymore. I couldn’t face that. So I let the silence grow.”

“I should have contacted you,” Rachel said. “I just felt so horrible about what I’d done.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It was Michael.”

“I should have told you sooner.”

Lily shrugged. “Maybe. But maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference. In your position I’m not sure what I would have done. Can we just put it all behind us?”

“I’d really like that. I’ve missed you.”

“Me, too. And Jenna.”

“I almost called her,” Rachel said. “To see if she would join us.”

“Maybe we should do that for next time.”

Rachel smiled. “Good idea. So what’s new in your life? Aside from being six months pregnant.”

Lily grinned. “Not too much.” She held out her left hand. “I bought a house and got married.”

* * *

Jake sat on a sofa in the firehouse. There was a book open on his lap, but he wasn’t reading. He wasn’t doing anything but thinking about Lily.

The previous night had been incredible. He’d never felt such connection before. It was as if by loving her, he was able to see into her mind and know what she was thinking. He’d known exactly how to touch her, how to please her. Every second of her delight had been a lifetime of happiness for him. Unfortunately he’d awakened in hell.

He couldn’t do this, he thought grimly. He couldn’t play the game anymore. He loved her—he wanted her to love him back. The knowledge that she didn’t, that he was just a convenient rescue, ate him up inside.

The worst part was the lack of a solution. Did he stay and continue the torture? Did he leave and try to start over?

He considered the latter—life without Lily. How would he survive? How would he breathe without hearing her voice, her laughter. What about her baby? He already loved the child growing inside her. He wanted to be there, be a father. He wanted them to be a family. But if she didn’t love him back…

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