Page 44 of Past Present Future

All I can do is be there for her when she needs me.

“I’ve been practicing my tail drop,” she says, already content to change the subject. “I almost have it.”

“Yeah? You’ll have to show me when the weather improves.”

“Or we can beg Mom to take us to the indoor skate park next week,” she says, making her eyes wide.

I laugh. “Of course. But you are not getting me on a board.”

Natalie flings her arms wide, putting on a dramatic pout. “If you just let me teach you a few tricks—”

“Because it went so well last time?” I ask, rubbing a phantom bruise on my elbow.

“Not my fault that your center of gravity is all the way in like, Iowa.”

“I missed you. Have I said that already?” I hug her tightly.

“Why did New York turn you into such a sap?” she says with a groan, even as she hugs me back.

“I’ve always been a sap. And I’m really glad you didn’t actually turn my room into a unicorn skate park.”

* * *

None of us have ever been very good at bowling, and yet that’s where the Quad ends up when all our family obligations are over.

“Another gutter ball,” Sean says with a good-natured sigh. “How many is that?”

“Five,” Adrian and I reply in unison. On-screen, an animated ball drops off a cliff while “G-G-G-GUTTER BALL!” sounds through the speakers.

“Is there a way to turn that off?” Sean asks, sinking back onto the bank of chairs and taking a sip of soda. “I feel like it’s getting louder.”

I pretend to check the keypad. “Nope. None.”

The whole afternoon has been tinged with nostalgia. The last time I was here, I bowled another imperfect game with my friends and discovered Rowan spying on our classmates, who were plotting to take us down during Howl. Tonight Rowan’s out with Kirby and Mara, but we have plans to meet up for New Year’s Eve tomorrow.

So many places in Seattle hold those memories.

I wonder if the East Coast will ever feel that way.

Adrian drapes an arm across the back of the empty chair next to him. “So we all know you and Rowan are madly in love. I am tragically single, despite my elite bowling skills compared to the rest of you.” He lifts his eyebrows at Sean and Cyrus. “Anyone else?”

Sean says he’s been indulging in the hookup scene at UW. “Zero regrets,” he says.

“Maybe not from you, but from them. Once they see your bowling score,” Adrian says, and Sean rolls his eyes.

“There’s… this guy in my sociology class,” Cyrus says, not quite making eye contact, as though worried how we’ll react. He didn’t date at all in high school, never talked much about anyone of any gender.

“That’s awesome, Cy,” Sean says.

I sit down next to him. “Tell us about him?”

And he gets this wild grin on his face. “We’ve hung out a few times, just gotten food or met up to study. He’s a really great artist, and he’s drawn a bunch of scenes from my favorite anime.…” At that, he pulls out his phone to show us, and we nod and whistle appreciatively.

Quad life, indeed.

When we take a break for terrible nachos in between games, my mind wanders back to the letter. I haven’t mentioned it to Rowan yet, and there are only seven more days until we go back.

When I told her about my dad in June, it wasn’t because I was hoping for sympathy. I hadn’t planned to tell her at all, of course, but once I let her into my house, into my room, it was as if all the fences I’d worked so hard to build around myself started to lower. Even deep in my unrequited feelings for her, I never imagined opening up in that particular way.

---