Page 93 of Business or Pleasure

And even though I’m worried about the future, about how tightly I’ve clung to my career in the past when it’s just as nebulous right now—

“I am, too,” I say, and the fear is worth it for the way he holds me tighter.

If anything could scare me off, it’s how new and fragile and precious this feels. How badly I want this to last beyond the reunion, beyond the book. Tonight feels so beautifully normal that I think I might be able to live in these moments forever.

“So this is what life is like with Finnegan Walsh?” I ask.

He shakes his head, tightens his grip on my waist. “No. This is better.”

chapter

twenty-five

LOS ANGELES, CA

Ethan, Finn, Cooper... you three over there. Ladies—Juliana, Hallie, Bree—can I get you on the other couch?”

Bree lifts one perfectly penciled eyebrow in exactly the way Sofia was known to do on the show, especially whenever she was pissed at Caleb. “You’re really going to have the guys on one side and the girls on the other?”

The director considers this. “New plan,” he says, exasperated. “Everyone sit where they want.”

But this doesn’t work, because he wants Juliana and Bree next to each other, since a good chunk of the reunion will focus on their characters’ rivalry. But Ethan and Juliana have to be next to each other, as the show’s central couple, and since Cooper’s Wesley eventually ends up with Bree’s Sofia, they should probably be next to each other, too. Cooper is just standing there grinning at all of it, like as the show’s comic relief, he’s just along for the ride.

It goes on like this for twenty more minutes, just configuring the proper seating. Twin black leather couches are posed onstage, an Oakhurst University banner in the school’s colors, silver and deep blue, draped behind them. On my way into the studio, I may have gawked a little at the signs indicating where a number of familiar shows are being filmed, but Finn just strolled right inside with a coffee cup in hand, like this is something he does every day. And I guess it used to be.

“Hopefully this won’t be too boring for you,” he said this morning.

“Going to a rehearsal for my boyfriend’s show? Not at all.”

And he grinned at that, boyfriend. I thought it might be strange, slipping into this domestic moment with him, but what’s strangest is that it felt so incredibly natural: our lazy breakfast, showering together, getting back into his Prius and laughing about how he was so nervous yesterday, he thought his car was the best conversation topic.

I assured him I couldn’t possibly be bored by anything Nocturnals-related, but now that I’m here, sitting where the live studio audience will be on the day of the taping, I’m starting to reconsider that statement.

Although truthfully, I’d have followed him just about anywhere today.

Hallie and Bree greeted me with hugs, though Juliana was still a little distant. I remember what Finn said about her rehab and more than understood why she’d be wary of press.

Ethan, though... Ethan is slightly less present than the others. From the first time I saw him at Supercon, dressed like a fan before revealing himself at the panel, he struck me as someone who loves the spotlight and who’d do anything to keep it from shining on someone else for too long. Ethan was fully aware that The Nocturnals was designed to revolve around him, even if it eventually grew into more of an ensemble show.

And I’m guessing he didn’t love that.

There are two sets: the couches for the live Q & A, and the re-created library of Oakhurst University where they’ll pretape material for the show. After they finish staging the Q & A, we all move on to the next set, overstuffed wooden bookshelves and flickering chandeliers and a long spiral staircase that I can now see leads absolutely nowhere. TV magic, and all that. The cast walks through the library, gazing at the remnants of their time together.

Hallie nudges Finn, points to a spot on the floor. “They even added back those paw prints from episode one,” she says.

Finn drags a hand along the library table. “It’s just like I remember.”

I love watching him take it all in. Every so often, he glances out toward the audience, where I’m seated with a handful of managers and agents and publicists, a couple other journalists working on pieces in advance of the reunion. And every time he does, his whole face seems to change, eyes crinkling at the corners as his stage smile turns real.

I’m not sure when that won’t feel like a novelty.

The taped cast interviews last through the afternoon. They talk about how the show changed them, their favorite memories, juicy behind-the-scenes moments. Ethan’s in an especially obstinate mood, which seems like par for the course for him, but he ends up having to do far more takes than anyone else.

“Some things never change,” Hallie mutters, and I decide she and I could probably be friends. Even if the main things we have in common are saltiness and Finnegan Walsh.

This hits me in a strange place. Because in any relationship, the sharing of friends is a natural, expected thing. And yet... Finn’s friends, beyond Krishanu and Derek in Reno, are entrenched in the Hollywood world, too. That might be an adjustment, but surely not anything we can’t figure out.

All of that is forgotten when the cast and crew break for a late lunch, Finn immediately heading for me.

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