Page 103 of Business or Pleasure

I swallow hard. Because as much as I’d love to kiss him, there are a few things I need to tell him first. Now or never, even if he said I could take all the time I needed. I’ve known how I’ve felt for weeks, maybe months, and it’s time I say it. No flowery language, no symbolism or hidden meaning. Just words—the right words.

“Over the past few months,” I start, “we’ve really gotten to know each other. Much better, in fact, than I know most people in my life. I was supposed to be interviewing you, writing your life story... but somehow we started interviewing each other. We both opened up, shared things I’m not sure we’ve ever shared with anyone else.”

Even if we started off-balance, Finn has been all in on this relationship for longer than I have. He’s never wavered. And sure, he’s probably more famous than I’ll ever be, even if he’s not a household name—but he’s never made me feel like my career, as nebulous as it is, doesn’t matter.

“It was never just professional for me,” I continue, “not even at the beginning. Maybe that means I should have been fired. Maybe I shouldn’t have ever taken the job, but that would have meant that we’d never have gotten as close as we did. And—and I never would have fallen for you.” I take a step closer. “We never would have pushed each other and realized that while we can do great things on our own... I think we can also be pretty great together.”

The look on his face could rip me apart and put me back together. I force myself not to glance away, to meet that gaze with my own vulnerability. “I’m so deeply in love with you, and whatever my life looks like after this book—I want you in it.”

Before I can take another breath, his arms are around me, heat and comfort and relief. “I love you so much, sweetheart,” he says into my hair, his hand cradling the back of my neck. Thumb skimming up my ear. “I adore you. The amount of makeup they had to apply to hide my dark circles—I was so miserable after you left. I get why you had to do it, but all I’ve been able to think about is whether you’d come back.”

I bring a fingertip to the space beneath his eyes, brushing along his skin. “You look pretty great to me.”

When we kiss, it feels like the first deep breath I’ve taken all week. Over and over, I tell him I love him, because suddenly I can’t stop saying it.

“So... long distance?” he asks. “Because I think we’d be really fantastic at sexting.”

I can’t help laughing at that—he’s probably right. “We’ll figure it out,” I tell him, because the uncertainty doesn’t scare me anymore. “But I’m not ready to live together just yet.”

“Okay, but I will be over frequently. In your bed. And maybe in the kitchen shirtless making pancakes and veggie bacon on weekends.”

“I am not opposed to any of that.”

He holds me tighter, letting me burrow into his chest. “I’m so glad you took the risk,” he whispers into my ear.

“That’s the thing,” I say to his heartbeat. Soft and steady and true. “With you, it doesn’t feel like one. It just feels like home.”

FROM THE SCREEN TO THE PAGE, FINN WALSH HAS RANGE

Vulture

Finn Walsh has a lot to smile about these days. The former Nocturnals star’s memoir debuted at number four on the New York Times bestseller list last month, with proceeds going to his new nonprofit Healthy Minds, which is designed to make therapy accessible to creatives with financial barriers. He’s also been spotted across the country with his girlfriend of a year, writer Chandler Cohen, although the two are tight-lipped about how they met.

Fresh off a two-week-long book tour, Walsh is already diving back in to work. “I haven’t been this busy in years,” he said from his home in Los Angeles. “I feel so lucky to love what I’m doing.”

Walsh’s memoir, Glasses Off, chronicles his experience with OCD, his early days in Hollywood, and his life since The Nocturnals went off the air, all through a series of compelling vignettes. It’s a must-read for fans of the teen paranormal drama but has significant broad appeal beyond that audience. Written in a gentle, irreverent manner, the book feels as though he’s speaking directly to the reader as a close friend.

“The writing process was such a roller coaster,” he said, unable to hide the joy in his voice. “And it was the most fun I’ve ever had.”

epilogue

SEATTLE, WA

Even from the other side of the bookstore, I can spot Glasses Off, and only partially because my favorite person is on the cover. Finn stands in a library, pinned against a deep-blue background, crushing a pair of broken spectacles and glancing at something off camera. The memoir anchors a display of the latest bestsellers, literary fiction and brightly colored cookbooks and celebrity tell-alls—written by other people, I’m sure.

I’ve been back to this store a few times since The Great Bookstore Theft that plunged my life into beautiful chaos, but tonight— tonight is different. Tonight, I’m forcing myself not to pick at my nails painted dark purple to match the cover, willing the nerves not to get the best of me. So I head toward the bar that holds the kind of memories I keep safely tucked next to my heart.

“Liquid courage?” someone asks from behind me.

I turn around, shaking my head. “No. Just contemplating the nature of fate, the intricacies of the universe, and how we got here.”

“So nothing too profound then.” Finn bumps my hip as he takes the stool next to me. There’s more gray in his hair now, something I love to tease him about and that he doesn’t mind at all.

“I wasn’t expecting there to be so many people. Why are there so many people? Did they get the night wrong and think they’re here to see Tana French instead? Is it too late to get her?”

Finn drapes an arm across my shoulder, pulls me close. “You can do this,” he says, and because I half believe him, I give him a quick kiss. “You’re going to be fantastic.”

We head to the stage, our friends and family already waiting in the audience. Noemie and my parents and my aunts, Finn’s mom and Krishanu and Derek. Then, with one final squeeze of my hand, Finn takes a seat in the front row while I make my way to the podium alone, drawing as much confidence as I can from my new black velvet blazer and fresh haircut.