Page 41 of Hers to Rule

“Tucked into a closet somewhere,” Rio said. “Everything from her altar was gone except the base. He said if you wanted to replace anything in here, you can.”

“No, it’s perfect.” She moved to the doors and drew back the curtain. Beyond, Cisco sat in his office, deeply involved in a phone conversation, facing away from her.

Mari tapped her nails on the glass to draw his attention and was rewarded by his brilliant smile. He held up two fingers to indicate he’d be a few minutes. She nodded and anchored the curtain so that it stayed open.

Rio came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. “He didn’t know what you’d want from your room, so he had Giselle put some boxes in there but didn’t pack any of it. We can head up there anytime you want.”

She turned her head toward him, smiling when he leaned to kiss her temple. “My books and some things for my altar, but most of it can go.”

“There’s no rush to any of this. Take all the time you need.” His thumbs pressed into the muscles of her shoulders gently. “And if you want anything from your father’s office, you can move any of that in here.”

She tensed, put off by the idea that she’d keep anything of his once she had another option. “I haven’t mourned him at all,” Mari said, her voice soft.

“I noticed.” He kneaded the muscles that had gone suddenly tight for a few seconds. “It’s okay to let yourself be sad about what happened. He was your father. Neither of us would think less of you for mourning him.”

“He was so cruel to all of you, but you and Cisco in particular.” Her throat ached. “It feels wrong to miss him.”

“He was cruel to you too.” Rio wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her to him. He felt warm and solid against her back. “Even so, missing him isn’t wrong, if that’s the way you feel.”

Mari sighed. “I don’t think I miss him exactly. I miss what we should have been, I guess.”

“That’s valid.” He rested his chin on her head.

Cisco wrapped up his call and crossed his office to the French doors, his expression concerned. He glanced over both of them after opening the doors. “What’s wrong?”

“We were talking about my father,” Mari said, trying her best to keep the tears that threatened from her voice.

He made a disgruntled sound in his throat. “I wondered if you were going to want to talk about it.”

“Rio asked if I wanted anything from his office, and it made me realize that I did. Then I felt guilty for wanting anything of his.”

“Oh, Mariana. No. Don’t feel guilty.” Cisco reached for her, and she fell into his arms, tears finally overtaking her. He murmured soothing noises into the top of her head.

Rio rested a hand on her back. “Should I step out?”

Cisco growled. “No. Fuck. How did I mangle this so badly?” He hefted her up into his arms and walked to the library. Once he was settled in a chair with her in his lap and his wings draped over the back, he nodded to the other one. “Sit, Rio.”

He waited until she looked up at him to continue in a gruff voice, “I did what needed doing. I took no joy in it, and he didn’t suffer, much as many people in this city would have said he deserved it.”

Mari didn’t say anything as tears continued to roll down her cheeks. Rio sat silent across from them.

Cisco took a deeper breath and straightened his back. “All of us, I think, would have said that, at one time, we thought of him as a father. While Basilio would never have been called a kind man, the cruelty for its sake was more recent.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what started it, but as time went on, it only got worse, until I judged that it had become untenable.”

He met Mari’s eyes. “I made that choice for all of us. I’m still not sure it was the right one, but I couldn’t stand by and watch him do those things anymore, not to strangers and not to people I love. His death is on me, and I’m comfortable with that. The both of you are entitled to feel whatever complicated way you need to about his death and the fact that it rests in my hands.”

Cisco rested one hand on the back of her neck. The warmth and contact eased her more than she could articulate. “If you want to talk about it, or mourn however you feel is appropriate, with or without me present, you should.” He lifted his eyes toward Rio. “You too.”

“I don’t need to-” Rio began, but Cisco cut him off with a growl.

“Bullshit,” Cisco said through clenched teeth. “Don’t lie. Not about this. I know how much it hurt you when he punished you to get at me. I know how hard you tried to get him to love you because I got to watch how profoundly the withdrawal of affection broke you, up close.” His voice shook with wrath. “Every time.”

“That’s what he did to everyone,” Mari said, her voice soft and uncertain at first but gaining strength as she went on. “He made you love him, and then he mistreated you until you had to retreat from him. Then he did it again, and again, until you couldn’t take it anymore. You were sure it was something wrong with you and not him.” She drew in an unsteady breath. “Some people could leave when they’d had too much. But some of us couldn’t.” Tears overflowed again.

Rio crossed the distance between them to kneel in front of the chair where Cisco sat with her. He reached out to soothe her, his hands gentle. “I almost left once,” he said softly, his lips pressed to her hair. “I think he knew, because that night, he beat you so badly you didn’t come out of your room for a week. Everyone heard you screaming.”

Her father hadn’t turned his anger on her often, but when he did, it was always memorable. She vividly remembered the evening he had opened the windows so that everyone could hear the sounds of her torment. Her stomach heaved at the recollection. It was even more revolting now that she understood why he’d done it. She wrapped an arm around Rio’s back and pulled him closer. “You stayed to protect me.”

He nodded against her, his voice going rough. “I knew if I left, you’d be the only way he could get to Cisco.”

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