Page 5 of I Can't Even

Or the way he filled out the seat of his cargo pants when he walked away.

You’re panicking at the wrong disco.

—Text from Ellodie to her mom

ELLODIE

Dinner out with Frederick—don’t ever call me Fred—was the last thing that I wanted to do.

Frederick and I had been dating going on three months now, and I knew that I needed to cut the strings on our relationship. Frederick was catching feelings, and I didn’t feel anything for him besides annoyance.

Yet, instead of calling and canceling, like I probably should have after the food I’d devoured, I decided to be a big girl and go out on the date. We already had plans.

Now, if I happened to break up with him while on that date… so be it.

I mean, I’d gotten more excitement out of watching a police officer yank a suspect out of his car than I did in the three months I’d been dating Frederick.

Yet, I got into my car and headed in the direction of the restaurant Frederick loved but I only tolerated when I was with him. I had to admit, when it’d first opened I’d loved the place. Frederick had ruined it for me, though.

When we arrived, I was annoyed to see him already standing there, waiting for me.

I hated that he saw me pull up, but only because I hated the way he always had a comment to make about my car.

“I see it still works,” he drawled.

I ignored him as I walked up to the front door and opened it myself.

He followed behind, close but not quite touching, and smiled at the hostess.

“Sandy,” he said jovially. “Do you have any seats in Dolly’s section?”

I nearly rolled my eyes all the way back into my head.

Dolly was a short, busty blonde who knew how to play the game of waitressing. She also knew how to get a great tip with very poor service, and that was by giving out compliments to men who desperately wanted to get her attention.

“Uh, no,” Sandy said as she glanced my way. “She’s off tonight.”

I thanked her with my eyes, and she walked us right to our seats that were luckily on the opposite side of where we usually sat.

Likely, Dolly was here.

Sandy had made my acquaintance in the bathroom a couple of months ago, and I’d told her how much I hated sitting in Dolly’s section because of how Dolly and Frederick acted.

From then on, if she was working, she’d make sure to seat us in the opposite part of the building.

If this restaurant didn’t give me hives every time that I came near it, for obvious reasons, I would eat here just because this girl was so sweet.

Like always, Frederick took the booth seat, and I was stuck with the hard chair. Yet another strike against him.

I mean, my dad wouldn’t be caught dead with his back to the door. But, Frederick not only took the chair with his back to the door, but also the more comfortable of the two spots to boot.

The one and only time that I’d tried to sit next to him, he’d had a conniption fit because he ‘liked his space’ and ‘didn’t like to sit too close.’

I rolled my eyes, and started to sit down, but the hostess paused and said, “Oh, this one.”

Since Frederick was already sitting down, and the hostess was blocking the chair spot for me to take, I took the booth spot of the next table over, and she winked.

Frederick stood, then glared hard at me as if he expected me to get up.

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