Page 4 of I Can't Even

It was in that quiet lull, as the man stopped screaming about his arms hurting, that I took a loud, crunchy bite of my crispito.

The sound had the cop and the suspect both looking over at me.

I mean, my car was only a few inches away from the police cruiser.

4-Runner guy sneered.

The cop, with his mirrored Ray-Ban sunglasses, head of gorgeously delicious light brown hair, and jaw line that would make any woman—lesbian or straight—weep, grinned.

“Good job,” I said through another mouthful of delicious crispito.

The man lowered his sunglasses just enough and winked at me. “Thanks, Calamity.”

Calamity.

Why did I like that he’d given me a nickname so much? Also, why was it so hot how he continued to press the man into the hood of his wrecked car, biceps bulging, as he waited for backup to arrive.

“You need any help there?” I asked, not making a move toward them.

I could sneeze on them; they were that close.

“I’m good.” He checked me out then. “You okay?”

Was I?

I mean, my heartrate was currently at tachycardic levels, and I was fairly sure that I needed a new pair of panties… but health wise, I was definitely okay.

More than okay.

The man had brought me to life with just a grin.

“I’m good,” I said as I started to lick my fingers clean.

I couldn’t see his eyes because of the sunglasses, but I saw him tense, and it wasn’t because of the guy he was holding against the hood.

“Good,” he said with a small grin. “You might want to hop off of there, though. The streetlight looks like it’s barely hanging on.”

I got off the car with a glance up, and sure enough, the streetlamp looked like it was holding on by a thread.

I considered reaching for my Baja Blast but decided against it when a piece of glass tinkled as it fell.

I bit my lip and looked backward, wondering if I could make it, then decided I couldn’t.

There were just too many people behind us, all of them just as shocked as I was at what had just occurred.

“Leave the drink, Calamity,” he urged. “Take a seat over there on the sidewalk.”

I did as instructed, continuing to watch with avid fascination.

It was only as the barricades were being removed, and the cars were being towed away, that the hot cop left.

His car was towed.

He was picked up by another cruiser.

But his eyes hadn’t left me once since he’d left his new under arrest friend to be carted off by another couple of police officers.

And don’t think I missed the way everyone called him ‘boss.’

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