Page 103 of I Can't Even

“Or, how about that time Ellodie told her first grade teacher she could speak a foreign language?” Hall laughed in delight.

I looked over at her with a raised brow. “You can speak a foreign language?”

Ellodie’s cheeks flushed. “Actually, no.”

“I feel like there’s a great story here,” I teased.

“It was the greatest,” Harvey admitted. “So, when she was younger, I used to curse. And when I would curse, I used to tell her to excuse my French.”

I started to snicker.

“When the teacher asked if she could speak a foreign language, Ellodie excitedly tells her yes. Then proceeds to spit out every curse word she’d ever heard Harvey say.” Hall’s eyes danced. “It was, by far, the funniest phone call I’d ever gotten from her school.”

“I can imagine,” I winked at Ellodie. “Looks like I can speak a foreign language, too.”

“I…” she started, but stopped when my phone rang.

I pulled it out, hope flaring in my chest, and saw it was Dad’s name on the screen.

I answered it on speakerphone by saying, “Tell me good news, Dad.”

“Great news,” Dad confirmed. “As of seven minutes ago, both men were apprehended at a gas station on the way to Broken Bow, Oklahoma. Darron Simpson resisted arrest, and he was shot three times in the forehead by three different cops. Dr. Brewn caught a round to his spine. He’s alive, but he can’t feel his legs.”

“Woo hoo!” Hall cried out, throwing her hands into the air. “Wish that man would’ve gotten shot in the balls first, though. Maybe suffered a little bit more.”

“Same,” Ellodie replied.

I winked at her, then said, “Keep me posted, Dad.”

“Will do,” he agreed. “Take care, y’all.”

Then he was gone.

I looked at Harvey to see him turn away, dropping his head to his chest, and placing both hands on the sink in a bracing position.

I turned my eyes toward Ellodie to see mirth shining in her eyes. “It’s over.”

“Damn right it is,” I confirmed. “Now we can get married, have a baby, and live happily ever after.”

“Now the only thing we need to figure out is how we’re going to be balancing two very demanding careers with a newborn.” She winced.

I squeezed her toes. “Let’s get you healthy, and the baby here, before we worry too much about that.”

She met my eyes and said, “Deal.”

Mental stability? In this economy?

—Ellodie to Quaid

ELLODIE

4 months later

“I’m just going in for half a day, Quaid Carter.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“You were literally just released from bed rest yesterday.” He groaned, crossing his own arms across his chest. “This isn’t a race.”

I narrowed my eyes.

---