Page 47 of I Can't Even

“Oh, Mom. Hey,” Garrett, I thought, answered with a grin. “Mamasauce, this is Ellodie. Ellodie, my mom.”

The woman who entered looked amazing for having nine children. And the younger version of herself walking in next to her was breathtaking. They both were. But the sister… Wow. They were both supermodel worthy, that was for sure.

Maybe the men were going to age gracefully after all. Because holy wow, Garnett was stunning. “It’s nice to meet you, Ellodie. This is my daughter, Ande.”

Ande waved.

“Aww, y’all are so cute,” Garnett cooed as she pulled out her phone to get a picture.

The men started to move, but she said, “Sit the fuck down and smile!”

All seven boys sat there and smiled.

I was shook.

The shock must’ve shown on my face because the beautiful female version of the brothers walked over and said, “Mom’ll probably post that to Facebook saying ‘my everything.’ And then everyone will think they’re all picture perfect, meanwhile Mom had to threaten them to stay.”

I blinked.

“I’m Ande,” she offered me her hand. “That’s my mom, Garnett. You’ve met my brothers? They introduced themselves nicely?”

“They better have,” Garnett quipped as she came over with her hand extended as well, which I took. “It’s nice to meet you, Ellodie. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

My gaze quickly went to Quaid, who was smirking at me. “All good things, I hope.”

“Oh, only the best,” Garnett agreed. “Quaid told us he picked you up last night on the side of the road changing some man’s tire in a tight dress.”

I snorted. “That’s actually true.”

“Us women need strong, strapping men who know how to change a tire,” Garnett admitted. “Because I don’t want to be waiting on the side of the road in Dallas traffic doing that for myself. No thank you. They can have the trash, mow the yard, and change all the tires. I’ll take vacuuming and washing the dishes any day.”

“That’s why I taught all of my sons everything I know.” Germaine puffed out his chest.

“You also taught them how to take thirty-minute shits,” Ande countered.

“That’s the truth,” Garnett said under her breath. “Hey, where are we going to breakfast? And if one of you says that…”

“Pie Hard!” Ande cried out. “Sorry, I already ordered it, Mamasauce.”

Mamasauce.

That was cute.

“Why is that a bad thing?” I whispered to Ande.

“Mom loves it there,” she admitted. “But it’s the only place we all want to go all the time. And she’s craving some pancakes.”

Pancakes did sound good. But I’d never had this Pie Hard place, and it sounded intriguing. It also had an awesome name.

“I can make pancakes,” I offered. “And we can eat some of the Pie Hard as dessert.”

“Pancakes are dessert,” Atlas—or was it Auden?—pointed out.

I gave him a quelling look, which he promptly laughed at.

“Listen here, Auden,” I pointed at him.

“Atlas,” the one I thought was Atlas corrected.

---