Page 182 of Charming Deception

We’ll be meeting up again soon to draw the next name from the box.

The pressure will shift to someone else.

But for now, for me, even though my challenge is complete and I’m free to have sex with Megan, the game is still causing problems.

“No,” I admit. “Not entirely.”

“Was there ever someone else? While we were together?”

I look at her, and she holds my gaze like she’s still worried there might be something that bad that I’m not be telling her.

I roll close to her, prop up on my elbow, and look deep into her eyes. “No. I told you, I’m not that guy.”

“Then what is it? What are you not telling me?”

“It’s really not important. It’s…” I sigh raggedly. “It’s done.”

Megan stares at me.

It’s the first time I’ve admitted that there is something I’m keeping from her, and she didn’t miss it. It wasn’t a slip-up or a mistake. I had to tell her something.

I have to give her as much of the truth as I can.

“How can you say that?” Her voice is soft and small. “I told you honesty is important to me, and you said the same. I’ve felt it, all along, that there’s something you’re not saying, Jameson.”

“There is.” I exhale, suddenly feeling exhausted from the weight of this thing I’ve had to carry, and keep concealed from her. “You’re not wrong.”

“Then tell me.”

I shake my head, slowly. “I wish I could.”

She shakes her head, too, not understanding.

I’ve answered her questions as honestly as I can. But I can tell I’ve damaged her trust.

She needs more from me. More of the truth.

And she deserves it.

I struggle with what to tell her.

“All I can tell you… is that I can’t tell you.”

I can see her struggle to believe me. “What if that’s not enough?”

I take her hand in mine and hold tight. “It has to be.”

* * *

Over breakfast on the balcony, Megan’s quiet.

“You’re mad,” I say gently. “Let’s talk about it.”

“I’m not mad. I’m hurt. And confused about why you’re not being fully honest with me.”

“About this one thing, I can’t be. I wish I could.” I try to put all my feeling about it into my words, so she knows this isn’t easy for me.

It’s fucking torture.

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