Page 242 of Sweet Temptation

If I could just not cry, we’d make it through this night okay.

He groaned a little. “I’ve been fucking scared that I can’t protect you like this.” He fell back on the bed and rubbed his face. “With my emotions involved.”

“That’s bullshit.”

He cocked an eyebrow at me. “Why?”

“You don’t have to do it all. You’re my hero, Ronan. Let me be clear about that. But you’re only one man. You’re not actually superhuman. When we’re out on a date, it’s okay to have someone else watch our backs. You can have help. You don’t have to give up one or the other… being my bodyguard or being my man.”

He studied me. “Is that so?”

“Yes. It is.”

“Then maybe you realize that you don’t have to give up one or the other.”

“Meaning?”

“Your independence and strength don’t have to be sacrificed just because you need someone to watch your back.”

“I can’t believe you turned that around on me. But you are right.” I kissed his shoulder. “I can be a strong woman who needs a strong man.”

“Sweetheart, you already are. Maybe you just choose to stop fighting it.”

“And maybe you stop fighting whatever it is you’re still wrestling with,” I pushed back.

“Like what?” he asked, cautiously.

I blew out a breath. Yup. I supposed we were doing this.

Now was as good a time as any.

“You’ve said things, Ronan, that make me wonder…” I considered how to put it. “I know you’d go to great lengths to protect someone. Especially someone you care about. But… that scares me a little. I don’t want you to go too far, or get hurt.”

“I’d never do anything that would come back to hurt you. I promise you that. You don’t have to worry.” He sighed heavily. “Besides, I’ve been down that road before. It’s not good.”

“What do you mean?”

He seemed to hesitate.

“Please. Tell me,” I said softly.

So he did.

“Okay. I mentioned to you that I had a client with an abusive ex…”

“Yes.”

“She had a restraining order against him, and he’d definitely been abusive when they were together, before I came on the scene. But she lied to me. She told me he’d done things he didn’t, and I believed her. I guess she saw that thing you see… my need to protect people. And she fed stuff to me to fuel that. Then he showed up at her place one day, and… the situation turned violent. He wasn’t supposed to be there, but I overreacted. I beat him up pretty badly.”

I considered that. I rolled onto my side, facing him, studying his face.

“You had feelings for her?”

“I didn’t. She was just a client. But it turned out she had a thing for me. I didn’t see it. She manipulated me, and I couldn’t even see it because I was so bent on protecting her. And proving myself, maybe. This was many years ago, one of my first close protection details. I was lucky that my uncle had so many friends in high places. We were able to talk ourselves out of that one, but in reality, the guy should’ve pressed charges against me. I hurt him pretty bad.”

“He was abusing his wife, Ronan,” I said softly. “Maybe he deserved it.”

“Maybe. I felt pretty fucking bad about it, though. She’d used me to get what she wanted. She’d actually told me she wanted me to kill him. I didn’t take it seriously, but I think she probably was serious. It was an ugly situation, and it could’ve ended my career. We dropped her as a client after the dust settled, but I’ll always feel shitty about how I handled that one. It was a mess. But the thing that bothered me the most about all of it was the way I’d let her use me.”

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