Page 84 of Sweet Temptation

“I’m serious. It’s not just Dylan.”

Dylan, Dirty’s drummer, was Ash’s best friend, and he’d definitely be happy about this. Elle was right, though; I knew her whole band respected Ash and probably missed him on this tour.

“Seth says Zane is stoked that Ash is coming out,” she told me. “They miss his energy. You know, Ash is always acting like such a badass, drinking his face off and pretending he’s too cool for everyone in the room. That whole ‘I don’t need any of you, I’ve got my own thing going on’ attitude he gives off. But the guys see through that. Better than I ever did, maybe.”

She was referring to the brief friends-with-benefits situation she’d had with Ash last year, when he fell for her and she kinda brushed him off. She never really wanted to believe that he was that serious about her, but I was pretty sure he would’ve at least tried to go the distance with her if she’d given him the chance.

“Maybe.” I definitely knew Ash’s edginess was half-genuine and half just for show. And he’d always admired Dylan’s band. “He’ll be thrilled to tour with Dirty for a few months. And best of all, he’ll come back off the road with all that gorgeous energy and confidence to pour into our band.”

“True. Shit, you guys are gonna rock. Should I be scared?”

I laughed. “Definitely.” I eyed her. “I mean, you can always join us if you want to… Maybe we could let Matt down easy?” I was thrilled that Matt Brohmer was joining us on bass, but let’s face it—if Elle said the word, I’d dump him and take her in a heartbeat.

I knew that was never happening, though.

“Thanks,” she said, sipping her coffee. “But I’ll stay where I am. It’s worked for me, and maybe I don’t always say it enough, but shit, I love those guys.” She actually got a little teary eyed, and for Elle, that was incredibly rare.

“Babe… are you crying?” I threw my arm around her, pulling her against me. “What the hell? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just miss Seth.”

“Oh, sweetie.” I gave her a hug.

“Thanks,” she said, and wiped at her eyes. “I just lied. I miss them all. Like crazy.”

“Of course you do.”

“It’s weird. I’ve been playing with Dylan since we were teenagers. We were always close, you know? He respected me from day one. He always looked out for me, and he wouldn’t let anyone push me around when we played with other guys. We met Brody one night at this bar show we were doing, and he told us about Jesse and Zane and the band they were putting together, asked us to come audition for them. And afterward, Dylan sat me down and basically gave me a speech about how talented I was, and that if we walked into that room and they didn’t respect me or what I could do because I was a girl, we were walking right back out, both of us. He always had my back like that.”

“Of course he did,” I said simply. “You rock.”

She smiled a little. “And Zane… he just always loved having me around, and he never held back on saying so. We butted heads and bickered, but then he’d have these orgasmic meltdowns about how talented I was, and he was always so good to me. He once punched this huge guy at a party who was rude to me, just like that. I have all these memories of them, the good, the bad, the ugly… the fucking crazy… But they’re my brothers, you know? We played together and toured the world for over a decade. They’re my family and I just never knew how hard it would be to be away from them.”

“And… there’s Jesse,” I said. Because she didn’t say anything about him.

“Yeah. There’s Jesse. I miss him, too. I hate admitting that. I’m not in love with him anymore. I’m so in love with Seth, my heart skips beats when I see his name pop up on my phone. When I answer and he’s all, ‘Hey, babe,’ and I can hear how much he misses me, I fucking fall apart. We had the hottest phone sex last night. The shit he says to me… I thought I was gonna have a heart attack.”

“Yum.”

“I know.” She sighed. “And I love seeing his face when I look at our daughter. The man just makes me swoon. I don’t have those feelings for Jesse anymore. They’re dead and gone and I’m glad. But I do miss his energy. I miss working with him. I miss touring together, all of us, and that magic we have together as a band.” She groaned. “Ugh. I’m so jealous of Matt right now! Fuck, I’ve wanted to say that out loud for so long.”

“Elle. You know you can tell me anything. And fuck yes, I understand why you’re jealous of Matt. He’s playing in your spot, with your band. Just like I’m jealous of Dirty right now, because they’ve got my bassist. Matt is supposed to be mine, and they’re hogging his ass.”

She laughed.

“And right now,” I went on, “believe me, it’s good to hear about what’s going on in someone else’s life. My head is rammed so far up my own shit right now, I need a distraction. Tell me all.”

“Shit. I’m sorry. This is petty stuff. I’ll be reunited with Dirty soon enough.”

“And they’re dying to have you back, babe. I know they are. They’ll have fun with Matt and Ash on the road. But then they’ll come off tour and get into the studio with you, all of you together again, and the magic will be in that room with the five of you.”

“You’re right. I know it. I can’t believe I’m moaning about this when you’re dealing with a real crisis.”

“What crisis?” A deep voice spoke behind me; Ronan had walked into the living room.

“Nothing,” I said quickly. Because there was no crisis.

I absolutely refused to let it become one.

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